TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... HAS THE HAPPY HALLOWEEN HOT RODDERS PARTY TAKEN A SINISTER TURN OF SHEER TERROR?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence racing compound/headquarters. A pint-sized H.D.R.A. related intruder named Stosh, was caught by our crew, masquerading (wearing a costume in Halloween fashion), disguised as the Darkside Drag Racing Association's notorious "Mantis", evil clutch and bottom-end guy, well known and feared throughout the parallel universes of the drag racing afterlife. Leader Larry Lamb finished up an interrogation of the small scale creature, using the team's new 'Truth Or Lie Indicator Capsule'. Exhibiting his trademark distinguished composure, poised to start flapping his woolly mouth, to vocalize his final executive decision of what's to be done concerning the future and fate of the apparition perceived a 'Mantis', Larry's abruptly interrupted by giggling from the interrogated subject, while it removes a layer of synthetic skin, molded in the shape of a praying mantis insect's head, adhered to his real head, and exposes his small parrot bird's head. 'Mantis' continues to shed armor-like 'body panels" of his 'costume', and squawks out loud, "I tricked you all!!! Trick or Treat!!! Trick or Treat!!! What do y'all think of my custom-made Halloween costume that fooled you all into thinking I was Mantis?!? HA!!! AIN'T THAT A HYSTERICAL RIOT?!? HEE!!! HEE!!!!"...

"Wait a minute!!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "This little creative critter feller is my old best friend from back in the day Stosh!!!!! He's a bird buddy I once served with in the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's Junior Speed Scout training program for animals!!!"... "That's right, old pal!!" responds the bird that we were all tricked on this Halloween, to believe was "Mantis", the notorious clutch guy from the Darkside Drag Racing Association... "You sure had me fooled, Stosh!" blurts Fred The Wrench "Your costume was very convincing!!!"... Maria laughs out loud at the situation... "How's this possible??" says Sebastian, "I remember being told that we're not supposed to engage in ANY Halloween activities, as per the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's longstanding linking of any and all Halloween related festivities to evil!?!"..."You haven't been checking your H.D.R.A. updates, Sebastian." exclaims Stosh "They're relaxing the rules for this year, as a trial experiment, to see whether it raises or declines the morale of our covert units during the Halloween season."... "Hey, Stosh!" squawks an ecstatic Peter The Parrot, "I got some cheese and crackers hidden under my mattress, so as Fred don't steal the edible goodies from me -- I been saving 'em for a special occasion just like this one!!!!"... "Oh brother," sarcastically shrugs Fred The Wrench, "As if it don't get weird enough 'round here with just one pint-sized parrot on the premises, now we gots two?!?"...

Everyone lightens up in mood, and shares Halloween candy corn that Stosh brought along with him. Peter The Parrot flies to his quarters to fetch the cheese and crackers. This is our crews first time celebrating Halloween. Maria grabs a sheet from the linen closet, cuts holes for eyes, puts it over her body and pretends to be a happy howling ghost!! Everyone proceeds to engage in fun Halloween frolic... Moments later, Peter The Parrot, flies back to the assembled group and squawks "LOOK AT DIS?!? ALL MY CHEESE AND CRACKERS GOT SMOOSHED UNDER MY MATTRESS!!!! FRED MUSTA SAT ON MY BED WHEN HE WAS RAIDING MY OLD DRAG RACING 'ZINE STASH!!!! FRED MUSTA BEEN READING MY DRAG MAGS AND SITTIN' RIGHT WHERE I HAD THESE MUNCHIE GOODIES STASHED UNDER MY MATTRESS AND SQUASHED 'EM!!!! HE MUSTA CRUSHED MY TREATS WITH HIS AMPLE FRUMPY BODY MASS!!!!"...

"Calm down!" says Fred The Wrench, "Yes, I did recently raid your stash of old drag racing magazines, and yes, I did sit on your bed for a spell, and read through some of 'em, and musta smooshed your hidden cheese n' crackers under your mattress on accident. But I'll make it up to you, little guy!"... "Oh yeah?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot "How you gonna do that, Freddy boy?!?!?"... Fred walks to the fridge and pulls out a deluxe party platter that he had been saving for the proverbial 'special occasion' as well... "Look at that!!" says Maria, seeing the platter through the holes she cut out of her makeshift ghost sheet costume... "Yeah, that's an appetizing spread!" adds Sebastian..."Oh my," concurs Larry Lamb, "Fred's party platter surely makes up for those squashed crackers and cheese you had under your mattress, Peter!"... "I guess so," Peter The Parrot says, now breaking into a bit of a smile with his parrot beak, "and heck, I got my old buddy Stosh with me, who is also a parrot and one of my dearest buddies from the past, PLUS, I got all you great friends with me, you all are pretty much like family to me. This whole wacky situation has turned into the BEST Halloween EVER!!!!"...

"I propose a toast!" interjects a gleeful Stosh, "Here's to the beauty of six members of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's afterlife racing operations, sharing a wholesome Halloween themed get-together of friends!!!"... Everyone takes a sip of their respective drinks and enjoy each others company... "This lil' fellow Stosh masqueraded such an elaborate Halloween hoax!" say Larry Lamb... Peter The Parrot and Stosh The Parrot are cracking tasty party nuts with their beaks, laughing it up, catching up on old times... "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!" shouts the two parrots in collective unison ... Fred The Wrench proceeds to put on one of his favorite Fats Domino records and the party really starts hoppin'!!!...

BUT THEN!!!...  The needle on the Fats Domino record scratches its way across the disc as a result of a sudden seismic  shakeup of the surroundings!!... "OH NO!!!" shouts an aghast Maria... An eerie dark aura appears to rise up from the large party platter dish, and materialize in ghastly physical form!!!... "IT'S THE R-R-REAL MANTIS!!!" says Sebastian... "YEP!!! DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME -- THE REAL MANTIS!!! I'M CORROSIVELY CRASHING THIS LAME HALLOWEEN PARTY!!!" ghoulishly gurgles what is clearly visible as 'the real McCoy' of nefarious darkside clutch tuning creatures, "I WAS SCANNING MY SHORTWAVE CLAIRVOYANCE MONITOR AT MY DARKSIDE DRAG RACING PAD, WHEN I SUCCESSFULLY BROKE YOUR TELEPATHIC BROADCAST SECURITY CODES, ENABLING ME TO WATCH THE PATHETIC PARTY HAPPENING HERE!!! -- YOU SEE, THIS MANTIS HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS IS NOT A HALLOWEEN COSTUME!!! THE MIND INSIDE THIS PRAYING MANTIS SHAPED HEAD IS TRUE INTERSPECIES METAPHYSICAL EVIL SHIFTED INTO OVERDRIVE!!!! NOW I'M GOING TO TURN YOUR DOOFY, DO-GOODER, WHOLESOME HALLOWEEN PARTY INTO A SINISTER SUPERNATURAL NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, THAT YOU FEEBLE FOOLS COULD NEVER, EVER IMAGINE!!!!! HA!!! HA!!! HA!!! HA!!!".... Sebastian immediately starts to spin at high RPMs in order to transform into 'The Phantom Racer' mode... Mantis attempts to counteract and disrupt Sebastian's actions by repeatedly chanting a morbid ancient mantis mantra, "STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!! STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!! STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!!"..."

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Wow!! -- Just when guest Stosh, the parrot from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association finally shed his "Mantis" Halloween costume, so he could help get our wholesome Halloween party started, the REAL Mantis materializes from the party platter dish and creates SHEER TERROR!!!! Sebastian wastes no time in starting to transform into 'Phantom Racer' hero mode, BUT, Mantis quickly responds with an ancient evil chant to counteract Sebastian's transformation!!!! CAN SEBASTIAN MAKE IT COMPLETELY THROUGH HIS TRANSFORMATION TO REPEL MANTIS AND SAVE THE DAY?!?!? OR WILL MANTIS' CHANTING DISRUPT AND DEFEAT SEBASTIAN'S TRANSFORMATION BY SETTING OUR HERO'S INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK?!?!?  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.