TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... FRED'S CHILDHOOD CHRISTMAS MEMORY OF HIS "VISIBLE V8" BURNING IN THE FIREPLACE IS BACK TO HAUNT HIM?!?...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are together at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound. It's the morning after Thanksgiving. Our group are assembled for breakfast in the kitchen... "I'm still stuffed from yesterday's hearty Thanksgiving dinner!" said Maria as she rubbed her belly, "It was quite a feast!"... "What's next on our schedule, boss?" inquired Sebastian to leader Larry Lamb..."Well," replied Larry Lamb, "now that Thanksgiving is behind us, we must already start making plans for Christmas."... "Good lord!!" shrugged a slightly confrontational Fred The Wrench, "I'm itching to get back out at the drag strip and back to racing. Enough with all this holiday nonsense! First it was Halloween, then it was Thanksgiving, and NOW we're already supposed to be consumed with getting ready for Christmas?!?"...  "Oh, don't be such a scrooge, Fred!!" squawked Peter The Parrot, "You sure liked it last year when I got you all those vintage drag racing magazines for Christmas!!"... "Yeah, I guess so," once again shrugged a still reluctant sounding Fred, "It's just, it's just, that sometimes I get a little, uh, depressed during the winter holidays."... "Why is that, Fred?" said Maria with a stare of genuine concern, "Why does Christmas make you depressed?"...

Fred then appears to nervously twitch, exhibiting undeniably uncomfortable body language... "What's the matter, Fred?" asks Larry Lamb... Fred continues to look as if he's breaking into some type of severely emotionally charged trauma... Sebastian abruptly gets up from the table and puts his arm around Fred, "What's eating at you, Fred? You're turning very pale and your bloodshot eyes are watering up!"... Fred then drops like a rock from his chair, and starts violently rolling on the floor, plunging into intense physical convulsions!... "WHAT'S WRONG WITH FRED?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot in panic, as he flies up out of his specially designed kitchen highchair, that helps compensate for his short bird stature... All the group rise up and run over to a now frantically convulsing Fred The Wrench, in reaction to his seriously concerning behavior... Fred then starts bawling out loud like a baby!!!... "THIS AIN'T LIKE FRED!!!" squawks Peter, "HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE OUR BURLY-BEAR TOUGH GUY OF THE TEAM!!! HE SEEMS TO BE HAVING  A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN OR SUMPTHIN'!!!"...

Larry Lamb instructs Maria, "Go get me the first aid kit!!"... Sebastian switches into metaphysical mode, spinning at highly accelerating RPMs, and transforming himself into an emergency 'Phantom Racer' phase, in hopes that the added 'Phantom Power' might further facilitate him in helping with Fred's disturbing condition!... "AAAAAAAAARH!!!!" screams out a now borderline incoherent Fred The Wrench, drooling all over his grease-stained flannel shirt, and worn, tattered dungaree overalls, "I-I-I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!! PLEASE DON'T LET CHRISTMAS COME AGAIN!!! I-I-I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!...

"What is this all about, Fred??" questions Larry Lamb as he grabs hold of one of Fred's trembling hands... Fred violently twists his body in manic, distorted contortions and replies in a fit of sobbing screaming  "WHEN I WAS JUST SEVEN YEARS OLD BACK ON EARTH, AND A MERE MORTAL, IT WAS A COLD CHRISTMAS MORNING, AND MY FATHER, WHO WAS ALSO A MASTER MECHANIC OF HIS TIME, JUST DISCOVERED THAT I HAD LOST HIS FAVORITE SLIP-JOINT PLIERS WHEN ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE BUILDING A TREE HOUSE OVER THE SUMMER --  MY DAD GREW FIERCELY FURIOUS, AND TOOK MY ONLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, A 1/4 SCALE VISIBLE V8 MODEL KIT THAT I WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, AND THREW IT IN OUR BURNING FIREPLACE AS PUNISHMENT FOR ME LOSING HIS FAVORITE PLIERS, THE VISIBLE V8 MODEL KIT WENT UP IN FLAMES AS I TEARFULLY WATCHED --  IT WAS THE WORST CHRISTMAS OF MY MORTAL LIFE!!!!! I'VE NEVER GOTTEN OVER THAT DAY -- AND WHEN CHRISTMAS ROLLS AROUND EACH YEAR, EVEN HERE IN THE AFTERLIFE, ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING COMES BACK TO ME!!!! WHY DID I LOSE THOSE DAMN PLIERS?!?!? WHY?!?!??!"

"Oh my!!!" squawks a sympathetic Peter The Parrot... Maria returns from the utility closet with a first-aid kit, and hands it over to Larry Lamb... Larry pulls out a mouthguard from the kit and inserts it in Fred's quivering mouth, so he doesn't bite off his own tongue as a result of the convulsions...  Sebastian, now in 'Phantom' mode, musters the strength necessary to securely put Fred in a restraining 'full nelson' type of wrestling hold, to keep him from physically hurting himself during the convulsions... "How do we make Fred's convulsions stop?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot... "I have an idea," interjects Maria, "it's a long shot, and I've never done it before, but I feel compelled to try it now!!!"... "Try what?!?" asks an overly anxious Larry Lamb... Maria replies  "An ancient Mesopotamian metaphysical remedy for extreme mental duress that's called 'Butterfly Metamorphosis Therapy'."...

"YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO TURN OUR FRUMPY FRED INTO A DELICATE BUTTERFLY?!?" squawks a befuddled Peter The Parrot... "Yes, Peter," replies Maria, "that's pretty much it, though it does come with risk, if it doesn't work just right, we could completely lose Fred for all eternity."..."I'm afraid that's a risk we'll have to take." states Larry Lamb with stern authority... Maria then adds,  "I will repeat a sacred chant, that will hopefully turn Fred first into an egg, then a larva, then pupa or chrysalis as it's often called, and then, God willing, into a beautiful butterfly, free of all mental trauma and stress, and full of only tranquil and healing peace of mind."... Maria raises her arms up to the heavens, and begins to loudly repeat the ancient metaphysical chant, "FOR OUR DEAREST FRIEND FRED, FOR THE UPCOMING CHRISTMAS DAY, LET HIS CHILDHOOD ANGUISH BE SENT FAR, FAR AWAY -- TRANSFORM HIS BODY, SPIRIT AND SOUL, INTO THE FOUR STAGES OF BUTTERFLY METAMORPHOSIS, LEAVING HIS CHILDHOOD GRIEF OUT TO THE COLD!!!! -- FOR OUR DEAREST FRIEND FRED, FOR THE UPCOMING CHRISTMAS DAY, LET HIS CHILDHOOD ANGUISH BE SENT FAR, FAR AWAY -- TRANSFORM HIS BODY, SPIRIT AND SOUL, INTO THE FOUR STAGES OF BUTTERFLY METAMORPHOSIS, LEAVING HIS CHILDHOOD GRIEF OUT TO THE COLD!!!!!"...  (Maria repeats this mystical chant at an amplified and progressively faster pitch, multiple times, in a desperate attempt to eventually release Fred The Wrench from his gut-wrenching, emotionally-scarred, childhood induced, mentally debilitating pain!!!)...


Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Our group just recently shared a heartfelt Thanksgiving together, and all seemed fine and dandy the morning after. HOWEVER, when Fred The Wrench was told by leader Larry Lamb, that the next thing on the do-gooder team's agenda is to be preparation for Christmas, Fred went into violent convulsions, and spilled the beans of a traumatic childhood experience, of when he lost his father's favorite slip-joint pliers, throwing his dad into a raucous rage, punishing Fred by burning his Visible V8 model kit Christmas present in the family's fireplace -- An incident that Fred obviously has never really recovered from!!! NOW THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE FRED'S TORTURED SOUL, IS FOR MARIA TO REPEAT A RISKY METAPHYSICAL CHANT, TO HOPEFULLY BEGIN A METAMORPHOSIS PROCESS TO TRANSFORM OUR BURLY, FREAKED-OUT FRED INTO A PEACEFUL-MINDED BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!!! WHERE IS THIS GOING?!?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.