TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... COMPETE IN A 1960 TIME WARP TOP FUEL MATCHRACE AND THEN DIVERT A CORRUPTED COMET OF DOOM?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were together on New Year's Day at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound..."What's our first assignment for the New Year, boss?" inquired Fred The Wrench to leader Larry Lamb, "I'm itching to get back to the drags 'n' tuning cars and all that kind of stuff."... "I do recognize you wanting to get back to the drag strip, Fred." replied Larry Lamb... "I'm feeling restless too." added Sebastian, "I want to get back in the cockpit, and driving again. All the holiday, off-season time was okay, but there's nothing like competing against the dastardly darkside drivers and putting 'em on the trailer!"... "Yes," comes back Larry Lamb, "I'm sure the Heavenly Drag Racing Association already has a mission for us."... "I'm also longing for getting back to racing," said Maria, "I'm grateful that last year I was able to finally get a chance to drive. Even though I know Sebastian is still our number one shoe, I do hope that I'll get another shot at the wheel this year. Until then, I'm still excited with my role as official back-up girl."... Larry Lamb abruptly interjected  "It looks like there's something coming over the telepathic communications multi-dimensional screen right now, directly from the H.D.R.A. headquarters, it looks like our very first mission of the New Year."... Larry Lamb read the mission to himself. Our usually calm, cool and collected leader's woolly jaw drops, and he appears aghast by what he sees!!!... Peter The Parrot squawked "WHAT THE HECK IS THE MATTER, BOSS?!?  WHAT IS OUR FIRST  ASSIGNMENT OF THE NEW YEAR?!? WHAT IS IT?!?! HUH?!?! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SEEN A GHOST OR SUMPTHIN!!! PLEASE TELL US, BOSS!!!!"...

Larry Lamb is visibly rattled by what he's just read. He takes a deep breath to regain his distinguished composure, "It seems that our first mission of the this New Year is most likely one of the most, if not THE MOST, challenging we've ever been assigned by our superiors at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association!"... "Uh oh," squawks Peter The Parrot "Sounds like we're going to be starting the New Year with a real doozy of a mission!!"... "Yes," replies Larry Lamb, "I usually don't use such casually slang words as 'doozy' myself, but I will admit that this one is in fact a real DOOZY!"... "Spill the beans, boss!" blurts Fred The Wrench "The suspense is makin' me feel unsettled in me tum tum!"... "Apparently," says Larry Lamb "We are assigned to compete in a Top Fuel matchrace, on a volatile comet that's being directed through space by the Darkside Drag Racing Association, a comet being navigated to eventually collide with the earth, and cause a dooming, cataclysmic event!"... "What do you mean by a 'cataclysmic event'??"  asks Sebastian... "I'm afraid the gruesome goal of the darkside drag racers is to have the comet hit planet earth and blow it up!" replies Larry Lamb... An extremely tense Maria speaks "So we have to teleport to the comet, run a Top Fuel matchrace, AND figure out a plan to overcome the darkside creeps, and then, somehow redirect the comet's projection so that it DOESN'T hit and destroy planet earth?!?" ... "Precisely." responds Larry Lamb "We've got our work cut out for us with this one."...

"But don't all the dastardly darkside creeps realize that if the comet is to collide with earth, with them on it, it would make a mess of them??" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Most likely they don't even care if they become carnage themselves." replies Larry "They're such a sick and demented bunch of sinister sadists, that they actually get their kicks that way."...  "Me and Peter will go in the shop and pick out a Top Fuel dragster for the mission. Is it a front engine or rear engine situation?" inquires Fred The Wrench... "Front Engine," replies leader Larry Lamb, "I believe it's a time-traveling, circa 1960 drag racing scene, a twisted time warped extraterrestrial environment."... Fred and Peter start walking off the the shop to fetch a fast dragster... "I think that maybe we can get the comet to change course by using an ancient form of metaphysical telekinesis." chimes in Maria, "I'll try to look up a supernatural chant to make that happen."... "Well, Maria," says Larry Lamb, "You better get busy, because we have to teleport out of here soon, in order to arrive on the comet in time to make the race, and then have time left over to subdue the darkside ghouls, and hopefully change the comet's direction."... "How much prep time until we've got to leave, boss?" asks Maria... "No more than ten minutes!" replies Larry with a sense of urgency... Everyone starts hustling to ready themselves for this bombastic assignment. Sebastian runs to grab all his driving gear. Maria briskly scuttles to her mystical library to look up a chant, and then to the wardrobe department to get a back-up girl outfit together. Larry double checks the assignment for the exact location and logistics of executing teleportation to the comet, and shouts out "LET'S GET A MOVE ON, CREW!!! PLANET EARTH MUST BE SAVED FROM A CATACLYSMIC COLLISION WITH A CORRUPTED COMET,  AND WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SAVE IT!!!! WE'RE TELEPORTING OUT OF HERE IN A MERE MATTER OF MINUTES!!! GET A MOVE ON!!!!!"...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Our distinguished leader Larry Lamb has received the very first mission of the New Year from the superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association, and just like Peter The Parrot said "IT'S A REAL DOOZY!!!"... OUR GANG HAS A TOUGH TOP FUEL MATCHRACE AHEAD -- AND THE ULTRA-CHALLENGING TASK OF OVERCOMING THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACERS ABOARD A  SPEEDING COMET THAT'S  EN ROUTE TO A CATACLYSMIC COLLISION WITH PLANET EARTH!!!! CAN OUR DO-GOODER GANG GAIN CONTROL OF THE COMET'S NAVIGATION AND DIVERT DOOM?!?! WE'RE DEFINITELY ALL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2018 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.