FRANKY & FELICIA FINALLY RETURN BACK FROM FRANKY'S SUSPENSION!!! -- JUST IN TIME TO GIVE YOU THEIR AUTO CLUB NHRA FINALS PICKS!!!...

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Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's last national event of NHRA's 2017 season. It's da AAA Auto Club Finals in Pomona, California.  Before we go any further, I'd be remiss if I didn't say sumpthin' 'bout me getting suspended from these picks for the last few weeks. I've been suspended so many times by Drag Racing Underground's ultra-uptight Stephanie this season, that I've lost track of the number. My most recent scuffle, during a Billy Joel karaoke Halloween party, where some wise-mouth twerp made a crack about how my Mets costume didn't fit right, really got me steamed, and spending time at the local police precinct. And prior to that, when me and my buds took the subway into the city to try to score tickets for Gun N' Roses, and a group of jerks from New Joisey started cracking wise about our Billy Joel fan shirts and caps we was wearin', well, that also propelled me into a scuffle, also resulting in me spending a night in a police precinct's drunk tank. Stephanie caught wind of the incidents and subsequently suspended me. What can I say?? -- When you're a tough guy like me, uh, stuff happens. Anyways, those were parts of longer stories that I ain't necessarily sure I wanna tell right now. I hear it's debatable whether or not Drag Racing Underground is gonna ask me and Felicia to continue our prognosticating duties next season, being that I'm always gettin' suspended. I would hope that some of you peoples will email them, and tell 'em how much it would suck if we get canned! We're the only thing on the entire drag racing internet with a pulse! Geeez! And mark my word, next year the Mets are going to the World Series! Anyways, pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA Finals!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about anything related to the New Yawk Mets? You promised that you wasn't goin' to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! And you need to take it down a notch with your temper problem. You're too sensitive! You've been gettin' suspended so much that we've missed predicting lots of races!  I told you not to bother with trying to score those stupid Guns N' Roses tickets at Madison Square Garden. We've seen Billy Joel over 15 times at the Garden, he's the only decent guy to play that place. Who needs those flaky Guns N' Roses hippies anyways?!? They ain't even from Long Island!! My Top Fuel pick for the NHRA Finals is Leah Pritchett. She won at Brainerd. She made it all the way to the semi-finals at Indy. She lost in the 2nd round at the Grove. She's been on a rocky road from her impressive season start, but at least she's ranked 5th among the top ten.  And like I've said many times before, she's got da best darn eyebrows of any of the other dames in the dragster class. I wish I could get my eyebrows to look like hers-- I really do wish dat. Watch Leah Pritchett and her Papa John's Pizza powered digger set this weekend on fire at the Pomona finals!

Franky: No way is Leah Pritchett gonna win at Pomona.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Leah Pritchett fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think she's a shoo-in 'cause she's got those flashy eyebrows, but I ain't seein' dat happen, dollface. I'm going with Brittany Force and her Monster Energy dragster. I was jumping up and down when she finally won her first event of the year back at Epping. She blew the timing equipment up recording a unbelievable 332.75 mph pass at Brainerd. And I went completely bonkers when I was watching TV from the recreation room at the Atlantic City drunk tank, when she won at Maple Grove! I bet she wins this Sunday and scores the 20 points she needs to take the crown away from Steve Torrence. I still got a gripe with Torrence for wearing a Yankees cap to the Summernationals, instead of a proper Mets cap! I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany again. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for persistently  picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough NHRA Finals field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Joisey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is a form of blinded prognostication. I don't think she's going to be lucky this weekend. My pick for Funny Car at Pomona is Ron Capps. I predict that Capps is going to reclaim his points lead from Robert Hight and clinch another championship title. Capps is only a mere 15 points shy of Hight. His crew will have the NAPA  Auto Parts Charger dialed in just right! I gots that feeling in my belly that Capps and his NAPA teammates are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about Ron "Flappin' Gums" Capps, he's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the guy, BUT this season finale deal ain't gonna be his race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is showing me images of Courtney Force appearing in the Auto Club Raceway Funny Car winner's circle. She's a skilled broad who always qualifies strong. She's got some kind of backing from that Taylor Swift country music chick happening for this race. Taylor Swift sure ain't no Billy Joel, but I kinda like her. Courtney's got ants in her firepants to score a victory this time! Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb like Courtney, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Courtney's bark to be just as vicious as her bite and that she'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Courtney is going to be all that for this coming event. Sorry 'bout dat. And I ain't much of a Taylor Swift fan. I'm tired of hearing all my goilfriends at the beauty parlor talk about what great legs and ankles they think she's got. It's my opinion that my more thickish, tree-trunkish ankles are what guys REALLY like!... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's final race of the NHRA season, I'm picking Bo Butner for Pro Stock. He's more of a predictable and "sure thing" kind of pick than I usually make for the 'factory hot rod' class, but I'm trying a last ditch attempt at increasing my successful prediction ratio for the season. Bo is going to beat the pants off the rest of the field. I believe Butner and crew are gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Bo Butner is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I know he's lookin' practically unstoppable, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at Pomona. And you're right, Felicia, I for one am hot for your thick ankles. I like Taylor Swift's singing, but you definitely got her beat in the ankles department. Once again, you can bet that I'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. I'm still psyched about Erica's earlier season win at Epping. She proved that ya gotta believe! I still believe that she's developing her old winning swagger back.  Her reaction times are still fierce. I realize that she's ranked 6th in points with her Elite Motorsports Camaro, and there's no way she's taking the 2017 championship, but I assure you, as sure as I'm sittin' here, that next year she's finishing in the number one slot! And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing dodge ball with those wise-cracking little kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.