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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog expressing my grace and gratitude for years of great times at the strip, despite the sad news that Old Bridge Township Raceway Park is now ceasing all drag racing operations, caused more of you to write in than we could have ever imagined. Here's a select few of your emails. Chris from Lodi, NJ wrote, "I've probably spent a third of my life at Raceway Park's drag strip. I'm a big guy, but this news has me crying like a little baby." -- Jill from Reinholds, PA said, "I like Doc's approach of showing gratitude for all the years the Napp family kept the drag strip running. As bad as I feel that it's over, I am thankful for all my memories there." -- Adam from Fullerton, CA chimed in "I used to live in Staten Island. My dad would take me to Raceway Park when I was a kid. Remembering those times still gives me happiness. I'm sorry as hell to hear it's done with, but I can understand why. People who don't get what drag racing is really about never stop complaining about the noise and making things tough for the owners."...  Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Bedelia from all the way in Denbigh, Wales said, "The sinister snow creatures freak me out!" -- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "I can picture in my imagination the blown, lightweight 108 inch wheelbase rail! I love it! Let's get to racing!"... My blog sending birthday wishes to "Big Daddy" Don Garlits prompted emails from a wide range of readership. Barney from Scottsdale, AZ wrote, "I have the Drag Racing Underground video with Doc's interview of Garlits. I've seen UFOs just like he did. Doc is correct that history will prove Garlits is right."...  My blog recognizing Martin Luther King day inspired Levi from Davenport IA to say, "Thanks for giving props to all the black racers who have contributed to the sport of drag racing."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Susan from Carterville, MO in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin's idea of what makes a man macho makes me sick!"...  Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


Today I'm writing a blog that I hoped I would never have to write. It's now official, Old Bridge Township Raceway Park will no longer be conducting 1/4 or 1/8 mile drag racing... As I've said time and time again, running a drag strip in this current socioeconomic environment (especially in the NY/NJ metropolitan area) is a most difficult task. There's constant complaining neighbors, sky-high operational expenses, bloated property taxes (especially in New Jersey), inflated insurance cost, extreme risk and liabilities, so many stressful variables, etc, etc... Much of the former drag racing space in now being leased to a separate business entity. This arrangement will offer some headache relief for Raceway Park. There will still be swap meets, car shows, motocross, kart racing, drifting, road coarse activities, music concerts, festivals and more. Both John Gill and myself have known the Napp family for decades. John's known them a lot longer than I have. As they are now on their third/fourth generation of family ownership, it must be noted that they've put more blood, sweat and tears into Raceway Park drag racing than most folks could ever imagine. It's really not fair to express any ill will towards them for implementing this reorganization of their business. I can see their side of the story. It still hurts me, but I can genuinely see their side in making this change. I am very thankful to the Napps for the 52 year drag racing legacy they've made possible for thousands and thousands of drag racers and fans... I also want to express gratitude to all the employees and crew who have worked at the drag strip over the years. People like Michelle Marchese and countless others have given their very best to help make the drag strip a world class, family friendly, home away from home for so many of us. Let's all please try to accept this change with grace, and cherish the memories we share of our times at E'Town drags. We're blessed for what we lived and experienced at Raceway Park, that's something that will live on with us for all our lifetime. Bless each and everyone who contributed to the E'Town drag racing scene...

 

 


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were together at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound. Crew leader Larry Lamb addressed his subordinates  "Our first mission of this New Year is one of the most, if not THE MOST challenging we've ever been assigned by our superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association!"... "How so, boss?" blurted Fred The Wrench... Larry Lamb replied "We're assigned to compete in a Top Fuel matchrace, on a volatile comet that's being directed through space by the Darkside Drag Racing Association-- a corrupted comet being navigated to eventually collide with the earth and cause a cataclysmic event!"... "A cataclysmic event'??"  said Sebastian... "The objective of the darkside drag racers is to have the comet hit planet earth and blow it up!" came back Larry Lamb... A tense Maria spoke "So we have to teleport to the comet, run a Top Fuel matchrace, AND figure out a plan to overcome the darkside creeps, and THEN, somehow redirect the comet's projection so that it DOESN'T hit and destroy planet earth?!?" ... "Precisely." responded Larry Lamb "We've got our work cut out for us with this one."...

"Don't all the darkside creeps realize that if the comet collides with earth, with them on it, it'd make a mess of them??" squawks Peter The Parrot... "They don't care if they become carnage themselves." replies Larry "They're such a demented bunch of sadists, that they get their kicks that way."...  "Me and Peter will go in the shop and pick out a dragster for the mission. Is it a front engine or rear engine situation?" asks Fred The Wrench... "Front Engine," replies Larry, "It's a time-traveling, circa 1960 drag racing scene, in a twisted time-warped extraterrestrial environment."... Fred and Peter go fetch a dragster... "Maybe we can get the comet to change course by using metaphysical telekinesis." chimes in Maria, "I'll research a chant."... "Hop to it." replies Larry, "We have to teleport out soon, in order to arrive on the comet in time to make the race, and then have time left over to subdue the darkside ghouls, and change the comet's projection."... "How much prep time do we have?" asks Maria... "Ten minutes!" replies Larry with urgency... Everyone hustles, readying themselves for the assignment. Sebastian grabs his gear. Maria runs to look up a chant... Larry Lamb double checks for the exact location and precise logistics for executing teleportation to the comet and shouts  "LET'S GET A MOVE ON, CREW!!!! WE ARE TELEPORTING OUT OF HERE IN MATTER OF MINUTES!!!" MOVE IT!!!!"...

Minutes elapse and the gang with their blown, trick lightweight, 108-inch wheelbase digger are all assembled at the teleportation station. Larry Lamb activates teleportation countdown "5-4-3-2-1!"... A bright flash of magenta light, and the gang are gone... Seconds later, our crew and their car materialize behind the concession stand on a supersonic comet, with an eerie drag strip facility smack in the center of it... Our gang are aghast by what they immediately see... "Look at all these ghastly snow creatures." says Maria in a muted, cautious tone... "Yes," replies Larry Lamb "comets are fundamentally icy combinations of rock, dust and space debris."... "These snow creatures don't look anything like Frosty The Snowman." squawks Peter The Parrot..."They look like sinister snowmen and snowwomen from your worst nightmare." adds Sebastian... "There's a nasty chill in the air" blurts Fred The Wrench "not going to be easy tuning our dragster for this race."... A cryptic looking snow creature carrying a clipboard approaches our team and vocalizes in a gurgling fashion,  "Hi, I'm Rosco, the event director. You interstellar beings sure look different. Never seen your type around here before. We're kicking off first round soon. Get ready to rumble!! Hee Hee Hee."...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  The very first mission of the New Year sure has a chilly and creepy feel to it. How will our do-gooders handle the sinister snow creatures from the drag racing afterlife's darkside who are occupying this comet en route to intended doom of the earth?!? How is Fred The Wrench going to tune their digger for the icy extraterrestrial environment?!?! CAN OUR DO-GOODER GANG GAIN CONTROL OF THE COMET'S NAVIGATION AND DIVERT DOOM?!?! WE'RE DEFINITELY ALL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2018 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO "BIG DADDY" DON GARLITS...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today I'd like to express belated Happy Birthday wishes to "Big Daddy" Don Garlits. He turned 86 years old this past Sunday. Garlits is a pioneer of drag racing with a list of wins, records and accomplishments that would be as lengthy as a full quartermile if they were ever all written out. I still cherish the interview he granted me at E'Town several years back (as pictured below), where he spoke in depth to me about everything from his advocating for the "monostrut" rear wing, to his UFO sightings and firm belief in extraterrestrial life visiting earth. From front engined dragsters, to rear engine dragsters, to electric powered dragsters, Don Garlits is a racer's racer. Happy Birthday!!...

 

 


IN RECOGNITION OF DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today I'd like to acknowledge Martin Luther King Jr. Day... As most folks who follow drag racing are already aware, out of all the different forms of motorsports, it is drag racing that is the most inclusive and "color-blind" when it comes to both participants and fans. Our sport has a long history of competitive Afro-Americans making a name for themselves in various racing classes and categories. I believe that's something we should all be proud of. Here's just a partial list of racers that I can name off the top of my head--  Malcolm Durham, Antron Brown, Larry Edwards, Tim Wood, "Big Willie" Robinson, Levi Holmes, Rufus "Brooklyn Heavy" Boyd, and Ronald Lyles-- and there's many, many more than that... Here at Drag Racing Underground we collectively celebrate Dr. King's legacy and all the Afro-American racers who help make drag racing the most diverse of all motorsports...

 

We celebrate and acknowledge the fact that drag racing is the most "color-blind" of all the major motorsports.



Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


The management of Drag Racing Underground presents guest blogger Mary Murray. She's an opinionated woman from the northwest. Truth is that Doc is mighty busy of late with her Big Stick music duties and her sculpture pursuits, so we figure giving Mary a crack as a substitute blogger might be a good idea. Being that Drag Racing Underground is known as the strongest advocate for free speech among drag racing web sites, we're willing to give this outspoken lady a guest spot when Doc is too busy to blog. Please keep in mind that the thoughts and opinions expressed by Mary Murray with her MARY's MOUTHPIECE blog submissions do not necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground. Without further ado, we give you Mary Murray...


HEY YOU GUYS!!! Wake up and smell the coffee! Drink the coffee and then have another cup on me. I'm Mary. I going to put my cards right on the table. I am happy as a kitty in a yarn warehouse to be able to communicate with you once again on the drag racing web page best known for insightful thought and unrestricted freedom of expression. My last appearance here caused what I've been told to be an "unprecedented amount of negative emails" sent to the Drag Racing Underground bosses. And I was told that many of the emails were of an "extremely severely angry nature"... Yes, I understand that when I express my opinions, they don't always jive with everyone else, but that's just how this bold lady likes to roll-- Anyways-- Today I want to share with you all my unbridled joy for my hunk of a hero John Force. So many cynical, self-absorbed, know-it-all, wisecrackers are reported to write in to Drag Racing Underground continuously mocking me, and insisting that John Force is "all washed up", and that he should retire from drag racing and be "put out to pasture"-- HA!!! I say!!! That's phooey dooey huey balderdash!! 'Cause it just so happens that John "Brute" Force, even in his current elderly years, managed to finish a respectable 7th among the top ten Funny Car stars for NHRA's 2017 season... And oh, get this, John just recently received an honorary doctorate degree from the University of Northwestern Ohio! That's right, the 16-time NHRA world champion received an honorary Doctor of Laws degree for his historic motorsports career and dedication to racing safety! University President Dr. Jeffrey A. Jarvis said "John Force is a wonderful role model an an icon of the motorsports industry." -- Heck, that's what I've been saying for centuries!!! And that sure doesn't sound like a "washed up" racer to me! I remember John claiming many years ago, that one of his only regrets in life was never getting a college degree, well, now he's got himself a bona-fide Doctorate degree from a prestigious university!!!... YIPEEE!!!... John Force and his entire team still have the proverbial "right stuff" to go rounds and make it to the winner's circle -- even to the top of the heap championship spot in the case of Robert Hight and Brittany for the 2017 season!!!... I want to end this here blog with a very special message for everyone. We all love cheap clothes and electronics bargains, but can we all please join the fight against overseas child slavery, and do our part to eliminate child slave labor in our lifetime. Thank you...

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog expressing concern for all our friends in southern California dealing with the horrific mudslides resulted in emails from several west coast readers. Craig from Burbank, CA wrote, "Please give Doc a hug for me, her words of encouragement helped." -- Janet from Montecito, CA said, "Thanks for showing so much concern for those of us being victimized by mudslides."...  Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Rolle from all the way in Erdington UK said, "Planning to have a drag race on a comet hurling through the universe is a circumstance that's literally out of this world! LOL! I love the warped concept!" -- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "It's about time you talk about getting the crew back to drag racing. All the holiday episodes bored me to tears."... My blog paying respects to the recently deceased, former longtime owner of Atco Dragway, Joe J. "Joe Sway" Swierczynski Sr., prompted emails from northeast readership. Derek from Cape May, NJ wrote, "It's my opinion that Joe Sway was always fair to us bracket racers. I hope the man is now at peace." -- Clifford from Lewisburg, PA wrote "I had good times at Atco when Joe was the boss. My deep sympathies to Joe Jr. and all his kin."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Kathy from Park Hill, OK in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Too bad that Marvin is pissed off because cyber bullying on the drag racing internet against women has declined, since his ugly face started appearing every Sunday on Drag Racing Underground's blog page. I think that's great news for women drag racers!"... Substitute Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day featuring a pic I snapped of E'Town's Wednesday Night Test 'N' Tune at dusk caused Lauren from Sparta, NJ to write, "I think Raceway Park has the best sunsets in all of New Jersey. I take pictures of them too."...  Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


I want to express deep concern for the folks in southern California dealing with those horrific mudslides. I have many friends out there from both the drag racing and music industry worlds. The recent wildfires stripped the hillsides of vegetation, resulting in dangerous mudslides from the even more recent excessive rains. I'm seeing troubling news reports as this blog goes to press, saying that 17 people have lost their lives and many others are still among the unfortunate missing. Montecito and much of Santa Barbara County are a muddy mess. Homes are destroyed. Property has been ravaged. The search and rescue efforts are now requiring helicopter teams to reach those in need. I hope this tragedy comes to an end sooner than later. Please know that all you struggling victims are in our thoughts and prayers. Try your best to remain strong and hang in there...

 

 


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were together on New Year's Day at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound..."What's our first assignment for the New Year, boss?" inquired Fred The Wrench to leader Larry Lamb, "I'm itching to get back to the drags 'n' tuning cars and all that kind of stuff."... "I do recognize you wanting to get back to the drag strip, Fred." replied Larry Lamb... "I'm feeling restless too." added Sebastian, "I want to get back in the cockpit, and driving again. All the holiday, off-season time was okay, but there's nothing like competing against the dastardly darkside drivers and putting 'em on the trailer!"... "Yes," comes back Larry Lamb, "I'm sure the Heavenly Drag Racing Association already has a mission for us."... "I'm also longing for getting back to racing," said Maria, "I'm grateful that last year I was able to finally get a chance to drive. Even though I know Sebastian is still our number one shoe, I do hope that I'll get another shot at the wheel this year. Until then, I'm still excited with my role as official back-up girl."... Larry Lamb abruptly interjected  "It looks like there's something coming over the telepathic communications multi-dimensional screen right now, directly from the H.D.R.A. headquarters, it looks like our very first mission of the New Year."... Larry Lamb read the mission to himself. Our usually calm, cool and collected leader's woolly jaw drops, and he appears aghast by what he sees!!!... Peter The Parrot squawked "WHAT THE HECK IS THE MATTER, BOSS?!?  WHAT IS OUR FIRST  ASSIGNMENT OF THE NEW YEAR?!? WHAT IS IT?!?! HUH?!?! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SEEN A GHOST OR SUMPTHIN!!! PLEASE TELL US, BOSS!!!!"...

Larry Lamb is visibly rattled by what he's just read. He takes a deep breath to regain his distinguished composure, "It seems that our first mission of the this New Year is most likely one of the most, if not THE MOST, challenging we've ever been assigned by our superiors at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association!"... "Uh oh," squawks Peter The Parrot "Sounds like we're going to be starting the New Year with a real doozy of a mission!!"... "Yes," replies Larry Lamb, "I usually don't use such casually slang words as 'doozy' myself, but I will admit that this one is in fact a real DOOZY!"... "Spill the beans, boss!" blurts Fred The Wrench "The suspense is makin' me feel unsettled in me tum tum!"... "Apparently," says Larry Lamb "We are assigned to compete in a Top Fuel matchrace, on a volatile comet that's being directed through space by the Darkside Drag Racing Association, a comet being navigated to eventually collide with the earth, and cause a dooming, cataclysmic event!"... "What do you mean by a 'cataclysmic event'??"  asks Sebastian... "I'm afraid the gruesome goal of the darkside drag racers is to have the comet hit planet earth and blow it up!" replies Larry Lamb... An extremely tense Maria speaks "So we have to teleport to the comet, run a Top Fuel matchrace, AND figure out a plan to overcome the darkside creeps, and then, somehow redirect the comet's projection so that it DOESN'T hit and destroy planet earth?!?" ... "Precisely." responds Larry Lamb "We've got our work cut out for us with this one."...

"But don't all the dastardly darkside creeps realize that if the comet is to collide with earth, with them on it, it would make a mess of them??" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Most likely they don't even care if they become carnage themselves." replies Larry "They're such a sick and demented bunch of sinister sadists, that they actually get their kicks that way."...  "Me and Peter will go in the shop and pick out a Top Fuel dragster for the mission. Is it a front engine or rear engine situation?" inquires Fred The Wrench... "Front Engine," replies leader Larry Lamb, "I believe it's a time-traveling, circa 1960 drag racing scene, a twisted time warped extraterrestrial environment."... Fred and Peter start walking off the the shop to fetch a fast dragster... "I think that maybe we can get the comet to change course by using an ancient form of metaphysical telekinesis." chimes in Maria, "I'll try to look up a supernatural chant to make that happen."... "Well, Maria," says Larry Lamb, "You better get busy, because we have to teleport out of here soon, in order to arrive on the comet in time to make the race, and then have time left over to subdue the darkside ghouls, and hopefully change the comet's direction."... "How much prep time until we've got to leave, boss?" asks Maria... "No more than ten minutes!" replies Larry with a sense of urgency... Everyone starts hustling to ready themselves for this bombastic assignment. Sebastian runs to grab all his driving gear. Maria briskly scuttles to her mystical library to look up a chant, and then to the wardrobe department to get a back-up girl outfit together. Larry double checks the assignment for the exact location and logistics of executing teleportation to the comet, and shouts out "LET'S GET A MOVE ON, CREW!!! PLANET EARTH MUST BE SAVED FROM A CATACLYSMIC COLLISION WITH A CORRUPTED COMET,  AND WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SAVE IT!!!! WE'RE TELEPORTING OUT OF HERE IN A MERE MATTER OF MINUTES!!! GET A MOVE ON!!!!!"...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Our distinguished leader Larry Lamb has received the very first mission of the New Year from the superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association, and just like Peter The Parrot said "IT'S A REAL DOOZY!!!"... OUR GANG HAS A TOUGH TOP FUEL MATCHRACE AHEAD -- AND THE ULTRA-CHALLENGING TASK OF OVERCOMING THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACERS ABOARD A  SPEEDING COMET THAT'S  EN ROUTE TO A CATACLYSMIC COLLISION WITH PLANET EARTH!!!! CAN OUR DO-GOODER GANG GAIN CONTROL OF THE COMET'S NAVIGATION AND DIVERT DOOM?!?! WE'RE DEFINITELY ALL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2018 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


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