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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

 

Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's Menards Oil NHRA Heartland Nationals presented by Minties, at  Heartland Park in Topeka, Kansas, one of my favorite states outside of New Yawk. I've only been to Kansas once in my life, when I was in my early teens, and my family drove out there because my mom was looking to buy what was advertised in the back of the National Enquirer or one of them shopping center newspapers, as the original ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz or something like that, but when we got there the local cops said it was a scam to rip off stupid people, of course there's no way they could have thought we was all stupid, after all, we was wearin' our METS caps and jackets. We sure love our METS and performing Billy Joel karaoke.  And yeah, as most of you have probably already guessed, I'm still riding an emotional roller coaster as the METS drama is kicking in this season. They're my favorite baseball team in all da world. Anyways, whatever, whatever. Pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA drag racing in Topeka this weekend!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about the New Yawk Mets? I know you promised that you wasn't going to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! My Top Fuel pick for the Heartland Nationals is Steve Torrence. He's towing-in to Topeka looking for three straight NHRA national event victories after back to back wins in Charlotte and Atlanta. I know Franky ain't that sweet on Steve Torrence because he's been seen wearing a Yankees cap at last year's Summernationals in Englishtown, and my man is all METS all the time, not them Yankees-- Franky don't like the NY Yankees that much, ya know...

Franky: No way is Steve Torrence gonna win in Topeka, Kansas.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Steve Torrence fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think he's a shoe-in 'cause he's won two in a row, but any guy who would wear a Yankeees cap instead of a METS cap gets my goat!  I'm going with Brittany Force and her team's Monster Energy dragster. Her crew is working like crazy to get her winning. I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for frequently picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough Topeka field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Jersey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is blinded prognostication. I know Brittany might surprise everyone, but, eh, I dunno, not dis weekend, baby. For my Heartland Nationals Funny Car pick, I'm gonna go for who my pesky critics might refer to as somewhat of a 'longshot'. I'm predicting that Bob Tasca III and his Ford Mustang are gonna be makin' some brutal drag racin' moves on the Topeka asphalt. With the financial help from the Gary Crossley Ford dealership there's some hope I thinks. I gots that feeling in my belly that Bob Tasca III and crew are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about Bob Tasca III he's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the guy, BUT the Heartland Nationals ain't gonna be his race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is doing what it usually doesn't ever do, it's zooming in on the face of Funny Car racer Ron Capps. He's usually your pick, Felicia-- but this rare time he's mine. Capps is  gonna unleash on the competition and give 'em a pounding with the NAPA  flopper! Don't forget that he's taken over the points lead and has won three straight races! Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb gum-flapper like Capps, who has just won three back to back, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Capp's bark to be just as vicious as his bite and that he'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Capps is going to be all that for this coming NHRA  Topeka event. Sorry 'bout dat, even though I've been picking him kinda frequently this season.  And I thinks you got that whole bite and bark thing backwards... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's race of the early NHRA  2017 season, I'm making me a Pro Stock pick that I've made in the past, every now and then I get an itch on my shoulder to pick 2nd generation sensation Vincent Nobile for Pro Stock. I like guys from Dix Hills, New Yawk, that town ain't too far away of a drive from our stomping grounds. I think Nobile and his Mountainview Tire '15 Camaro crew are gonna be unstoppable in Kansas. I believe they're gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Vincent Nobile is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I like the fact that he's sorta from our neck of the woods, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at the Heartland Nationals. Once again, I'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. I know that she wasn't exactly setting the world on fire last season, but I still gots to believe that she's gonna be able to get her old winning swagger back at the wheel of her fast Chevy Camaro brand of 'factory hot rod'-- It's so much better than the Mopar she was campaigning last year.  And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing hopscotch with those wise-cracking kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em, babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.

 

 


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact...  We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back at home base after successfully completing yet another covert celestial assignment for the Heavenly Drag Racing Association... "I have a question about a request that I submitted to you and the H.D.R.A. administration about a month ago, boss?" squawked Peter The Parrot to leader Larry Lamb... "What request would that be?" replied Larry... "My request that we try racing a bracket car with lots of those newfangled electronics thingees!!" Peter The Parrot squawked back "It's time for us to try racing and beating those big dollar bracket gambler ghouls with their wired-up rides stuffed with electronic boxes and gizmos!!"... "NOW WAIT ONE GOSH DARN MINUTE!!" interjected a visibly unsettled Fred The Wrench "I AINT'S GOT NO WANTIN' WHATSOEVER TO FABRICATE ONE OF OUR CARS WITH ELECTRONIC RACING BOXES AND GIZMOS!!"... "Ahhh, yer stuck in your own private geezer time tunnel, Fred!" squawked Peter The Parrot "You need to get with the times, Fred! Electronics is a big part of the current gambler ghoul drag racing scene!"... Sebastian interjected "You two guys have been arguing about electronics an awful lot lately, especially when you're working together in the shop! And the arguing has been getting fiercely heated!"...

Fred blurts "That's 'cause Peter's really pushing the idea of us going electronics racing, and that's got me spending sleepless nights, 'cause I ain't interested in putting little blinking boxes in any of our cars to go racing!!"... "GET WITH THE TIMES, FRED!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "YOUR OLD-FOGEY RACING WAYS NEED AN UPDATING MAKEOVER!!"... "MAKEOVER?!?" yells back an agitated Fred The Wrench "WHAT KIND OF WHIPPER-SNAPPER COCKEYED BIRD BABBLE IS THAT?!?!"... "Gentlemen, gentlemen," interjects Larry Lamb, as all our crew are seated at the kitchen table for a tea and coffee break "Take a deep breath and have a Lorna Doone cookie."... A borderline defiant Fred The Wrench stomps his boots "WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, BOSS, UH, I CAN'TS RELAX UNTIL YOU PROMISE ME THAT WE AINT'S GOIN' ELECTRONICS DRAG RACING!!! I'M FROM A TIME WHEN DRIVERS RACED FROM THE SEAT OF THEIR PANTS!!!!”... Larry Lamb dunks a Lorna Doone cookie into his tea, takes a pause and states "I do understand Peter wanting to go electronics racing just for the purpose of taking on those big-dollar gambling ghouls who exclusively compete using electronic gadgets. That's a part of the darkside drag racing afterlife scene that could use some serious busting up by us."... "Yeah!" concurs Peter The Parrot "Them bracket gambling ghouls need a serious whooping on the strip!!"... "Uh, well, okay, if you put it dat way," acquiesces Fred The Wrench "I guess we can install electronics in one of our cars and give it a try. I mean, I don't like to ever miss an opportunity to teach them darkside low-lifes a lesson on the drag strip."

It seems like everyone's in a better place emotionally now, a lot calmer than the mood was only mere minutes ago... "I can help wire those gadgets up." proclaims Sebastian "Back during my mortal years on earth, I was a bit of a ham radio freak, and I dabbled a little in electronics."... "Isn't bracket racing complicated?" Maria inquires after taking a sip of tea... "Well, I guess you could say that, Maria." responds Larry Lamb "There's 'dial-ins', 'breakouts', 'handicap starts', 'sandbagging', yes, it's not easy racing by any stretch of the imagination."... "We're going to have to work hard to beat those ghouls who've been bracket racing with electronics for most of their drag racing afterlife!" Fred exclaims "Sebastian is going to have to take his practice tree out of the closet and make sure his reaction time chops are tight! Those bracket ghouls cut sinister lights!"... "Yes, I know, Fred." says Sebastian "I'll spend some time with my practice tree."... "So it's all set??" blurts Maria "After our tea and coffee break, we'll get started on putting together our electronics bracket racing operation??"... "I believe so." replies Larry Lamb as he accidentally dunks his Lorna Doone cookie for too long and is breaks off into mush, falling into his tea cup, "Darn it! I just over-dunked my Lorna Doone cookie!"... Maria giggles at Larry and says "I've done that before. No big deal. We've got a whole cabinet of Lorna Doone cookies, boss."... "Well, I'm thankful for that!" says Larry with a woolly grin... Everyone breaks into a chuckle and chills out knowing that the task they're soon about to embark on is going to be a heaping handful of effort and labor intensive grunt work...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, we hope all our gang enjoy their tea, coffee, and "chill time" cookie break, because it appears that their ambition to go electronics bracket racing, where they'll be competing against some of most seasoned ghoulish gambler racers in all the universes isn't going to be an easy walk in the park.  Fred The Wrench was originally vehemently opposed to the idea, but now that he realizes that it's the only way they can teach the gambler ghouls a lesson, he's on board with the idea. It looks like our crew of do-gooders are up for a challenge!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is either occupied with her Big Stick music related work, and/or her fine-art sculpture related responsibilities (as she will be increasingly frequently over the period of the next several months or so)... We believe that Doc will hopefully be back on the clock for Saturday's edition of this popular blog installment... Of course on Wednesday (tomorrow), we will be running our regularly scheduled 'TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER' feature, Thursday we'll probably be publishing Franky's & Felicia's picks for the NHRA Heartland Nationals (provided they don't do something between now and then to get themselves suspended from duty), and on Friday will be the usual 'FEEDBACK FRIDAY' blog installment which I now help editorially administrate... Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features a photograph of Doc respectfully lounging about in her home recording studio (where she does some of her Big Stick related work). I thought this photo would be appropriate to share with you, due to the fact she's wearing her treasured and vintage "Jungle Jim" t-shirt. This shirt was part of Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's "T-Shirt Giveaway Funny Car Race" way back in the summer of 1973. The "Jungle Jim" Vega Funny Car rendering on the shirt comes from a photo taken by world-renowned drag racing photographer Norman Blake (who also shot Big Stick's first record cover)... In loving memory and with heartfelt respect to the good man that was"Jungle Jim" Liberman, Doc is proudly wearing this precious t-shirt... Oh, and by the way, please don't bother emailing to inquire if the shirt is for sale, because it's not for sale at any price...

 

 

Substitute Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day features Doc respectfully lounging in her vintage "Jungle Jim" t-shirt

 


YES, VIRGINIA... THERE WILL BE A BRAND NEW BIG STICK RECORD IN 2017!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today I'm posting a borrowed photo from somebody else's vinyl record collection. They've obviously got a few choice Big Stick records in their possession... I thought I'd post this pic, in conjunction with announcing that there will FINALLY be a new Big Stick album release this year. That's right, it's been an awful long time coming, but there are indeed 15 brand-newly recorded, mixed and mastered tracks that will be featured on a new Big Stick LP-length album. We're currently working with DRU's own Mike Muchacho on getting the artwork, liners notes, and stuff like that together for the new record. And we're looking to get it released electronically (of course), as well as on CD, and the much in-demand vinyl record format. As I've indicated on this page in the past, the release features some special guest appearances by some longtime musical friends, including Fred Schneider from the B-52s, Groovie Mann from the TKK, Jerry A. from Poison Idea, and Johnny Kelly from Type O Negative/Danzig among others... And yes, I promise that there's at least one new song that's of a drag racing related nature. Stay tuned right here for more developments...

 

 

A borrowed pic of someone else's Big Stick vinyl collection. There will be a brand NEW Big Stick record in 2017! 


Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying...

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!

 



I realize that tomorrow is officially Mother's Day, but since tomorrow is Sunday, and on Sundays we run our regular "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, I figure that I'll express my Happy Mother's Day wishes to everyone today. I'm sure that blowhard "Marvin" will have something cockeyed to say about Mother's Day tomorrow-- you can guarantee that, right?... Anyways... I want to make a point of acknowledging all the elderly grandmothers who now find themselves forced to raise their adult children's kids. They're the unsung heroes of our modern day society, especially with our nation's growing opiate addiction epidemic. There's so many parents who have a serious drug problem these days, and who then subsequently hand over the responsibilities of raising their kids to their aging and elderly parents. It's a horrible problem that I sincerely hope will be addressed and eradicated sooner than later in America. I really have a lot of respect for all the elderly who are now bearing the heavy load of caring for their grandchildren... You are not forgotten on this Mother's Day 2017...

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog featuring my official announcement proclaiming that MAY IS MOPAR MUSCLE MONTH prompted lots of responses. Jamey from Franklin, CT said, "My dad was a Mopar guy and so am I. Thanks for informing me about the MOPARS @ ETOWN event on August 26th-27th. I'll be there with my restored Roadrunner."-- Ernest from Jersey City, NJ  wrote, "I remember seeing Bob Craven's '64 Barracuda when it was new. Shows you how old I am!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Andrew from all the way in Charlbury, England said, "I completely understand the debate between Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot. I too tend to argue with my chums all the time about the use of electronic accessories in drag racing."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "I was surprised to read that Maria still hasn't given up on her ambition to be a driver. I hope she gets her wish."-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog titled 'DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND RECOGNIZES NATIONAL TEACHER APPRECIATION DAY' prompted Gloria  from Maywood, CA to comment, "I'm one of the teachers who frequently uses Doc's blog as an educational tool for my fifth grade students. I appreciate her tipping her hat to hardworking teachers for National Teacher Appreciation Day. She is a darling person who cares about the common people."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Barbara from Ephrata, PA in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Bullies like Marvin don't care that my great grandfather lost his legs fighting for our right to free speech. Losers like Marvin are a disgrace to America!"... My blog printing the dates for Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's DIGS AT E'TOWN old school & traditional drag racing series caused Sal from Oradell, NJ  to comment, "Thanks for putting up THE DIGS dates. I'm going to bring my kids to at least two of the three races. We went last year and enjoyed the nostalgia style." (editor's note THE DIGS dates are Sun July 2, Sun Aug 27, Sun Oct 29)... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


IT'S OFFICIAL... MAY IS PROCLAIMED "MIGHTY MOPAR MUSCLE MONTH"!!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

It's official... Here at Drag Racing Underground we are officially proclaiming that May is "MIGHTY MOPAR MUSCLE MONTH"!!... For the entire month of May we pay heartfelt tribute and recognize the American muscle car power of the beefy cars that roll off the Chrysler/Plymouth/Dodge automobile manufacturing assembly line. Very often we hear the old expression "Mopar or No Car", and let's face it, there's a good number of folks among the gearhead population who still subscribe to that mopar-loving mantra from days gone by... And as we celebrate May being Mighty Mopar Muscle Month, please be reminded that the 31st annual Mopar Collectors Guide MOPARS @ ETOWN event takes place August 26-27, 2017 at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. This event is a "must see" for those who love the Mopar breed of high performance rides. It's one of my favorite shindigs of the racing season, and I highly recommend it for the whole family. Mark your calendar now for MOPARS @ ETOWN!!... For more detailed information you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 

Bob Craven's 1964 Plymouth Barracuda Valiant parked in the Englishtown pits. It's a Mopar muscle car classic.


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact...  We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back at home base after successfully completing yet another covert celestial assignment for the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. They  were able to rid their abode of a sinister shadowy figure, that was a stowaway inside the crate of a mailorder engine that arrived while they were away on assignment. It was the darkside's attempt to take possession of top-secret sensitive intelligence reports from Larry Lamb's administration desk... Fortunately Sebastian managed to get the ghoul re-crated and teleported to central booking at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. After the darkside intruder crisis was finally over, Maria sighed with relief, gaining her composure, "What do you say we all do tea and coffee and try to unwind?"... Fred The Wrench wiped his brow and blurted  "I'm exhausted from fighting the low-lifes of the afterlife!!"... Sebastian chimed "We'll all feel better after we decompress our rattled senses."... "I'm sure ready for relaxation!!" squawked Peter The Parrot... "Let's open up a fresh box of Lorna Doone cookies and engage in some pleasant discussion and reflection." adds the distinguished sounding Larry Lamb... "I'M DOWNRIGHT POOPED OUT!!" squawked Peter The Parrot... Everyone shared a collective laugh at Peter's candid remark, and assembled together in a heartfelt group hug. Everyone's thankful to be back home and seemingly secure...

Our group are now in the kitchen area. All are seated with the exception of Maria, she's at the counter brewing her signature celestial tea and a black coffee for Fred... Sebastian speaks "We've been going through such trying times lately in our quest to bring civility in the face of the darkside's tormenting efforts of evil."... Larry Lamb dispenses his universally keen wisdom "Just like in the mortal world, the afterlife still maintains a struggle between the forces of good and evil. It can be a most tiring fight to endure. I'm so proud of all of you for never wavering in our mission of do-gooder drag racing civility enforcement. You've all proven to me time and time again that your dedication to fighting the good fight and upholding justice, is indeed your sole selfless enduring goal of their drag racing afterlife."... "Aw, shucks, boss." blurts Fred The Wrench "It's your leadership, Larry, that makes the rest of us able to stay on the right track."... Maria then asks  "Isn't it almost time for you to submit our yearly performance evaluations to the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's personnel office, Larry?"... "Why, yes, Maria." responds Larry, "And I am aware that you've put in a formal request to start doing some driving on the drag strip."... "Do you think I'll get a crack at it anytime soon?" inquires Maria... "Well," Larry answers "I assure to that I will include a note in your evaluation report that states my belief, that you deserve the opportunity to attempt the driving side of afterlife drag racing."... "Thanks, boss!!" says Maria with a smile...

"What about my request??" squawks Peter The Parrot... "What request was that?" replies Larry... "I put in a request with the administration that we try building a bracket car with lots of those newfangled electronics!!" Peter squawks back "It's time for us to try racing and beating those big dollar bracket gambler ghouls with their rides stuffed with electronic boxes and gizmos!!"... "NOW WAIT ONE GOSH DARN MINUTE!!" interjects a visibly unsettled Fred The Wrench "I AINT'S GOT NO WANTIN' WHATSOEVER TO BUILD A CAR WITH ELECTRONIC RACING BOXES AND GIZMOS!!"... "Ahhh, you're stuck in your own private time tunnel, Fred!" squawks Peter The Parrot "You need to get with it, Fred! Electronics is a big part of the current racing scene!"... "Okay, fellows." Larry The Lamb says "No need for anyone to get riled up. Let's drop this issue momentarily and enjoy a stress reducing break."... "Hmmm" sounds a skeptical sounding Maria "When the boss tells us to drop an issue, that usually means it's a red hot button of discussion."... Sebastian chuckles at Maria's assessment and adds "Yeah, I've seen Fred and Peter arguing about electronics and drag racing a lot lately, especially when they're working together in the shop."... Fred blurts "Peter's really pushing the idea of us going electronics racing, and  that's got me spending sleepless nights, 'cause I ain't interested at all in putting little blinking boxes and wired gadgets in our cars to go racing!!"... "GET WITH THE TIMES, FRED!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "YOUR OLD FART RACING WAYS NEED A MAKEOVER!!"... "A MAKEOVER?!?" yells back an agitated Fred The Wrench "WHAT KIND OF WHIPPER SNAPPER BIRD BABBLE IS THAT?!?!"... "Gentlemen, gentlemen," interjects Larry Lamb "Take a deep breath and have a Lorna Doone cookie."... A borderline defiant Fred The Wrench stomps his boots "WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, BOSS, UH, I CAN'TS RELAX UNTIL YOU PROMISE ME THAT WE AINT'S GOIN' ELECTRONICS DRAG RACING-- I DON'TS WANT TO DO IT-- I'M FROM A TIME WHEN DRIVERS RACED FROM THE SEAT OF THEIR PANTS!!!!"

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, what was supposed to be time to "chill" (as the kids would say) for our exhausted crew, has instead exploded into a fiery debate over whether or not to go electronics drag racing. While Peter The Parrot has apparently put in a formal request with the HDRA to explore the possibilities of electronics racing for our group, Fred The Wrench is vehemently opposed to the idea!! We haven't seen this contentious of a debate between Fred and Peter in many moons!!! How will this matter get settled?!?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Today we'd like to recognize National Teacher Appreciation Day. All too often we see the teaching profession overlooked and grossly under appreciated. From scores of emails that I've received over the years, I have been made well aware of all the many teachers who read this blog with steadfast regularity, and occasionally use some of my writings as a "teaching tool" for their knowledge hungry students-- I'm certainly somewhat proud of that fact. It makes me feel good for being able to write some blogs that are being used in classrooms all across the nation to further enlighten our impressionable American youths... I'd also like to utilize today's celebration of National Teacher Appreciation Day as a friendly reminder to encourage more teachers to make an effort to properly educate their students about the sport of drag racing, because we all know that drag racing is an activity that helps build strong character and determination in youngins.

 

 

On National Teacher Appreciation Day we salute our educators who use this drag racing blog as a teaching tool.