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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She speaks the TRUTH!!... Nobody else on the web possesses the ability to speak the Truth, and 'TELL IT LIKE IT REALLY IS' the way she does!!-- Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media-- Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's Blog gives you a daily dose of TRUTH and REALITY with HEART... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page NOW!!-- Be sure YOU check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes do exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical drag racing team featuring top-honcho Larry Lamb, Sebastian Conrad aka The Phantom Racer, Fred The Wrench, and Peter the Pesky Parrot were all back at their heavenly headquarters after defeating Wilma The Wicked Witch in a match race at a strip located on her terrifying terrestrial plane. The whole gang is feeling positive, not just about the win, but also because of Larry Lamb's successful plan that released a large number of downtrodden children from Wilma The Wicked Witch's sinister spell casting bondage. Our courageous crew of do-gooders are breathing a much deserved sigh of relief... Peter The Parrot flew up to a shelf in the shop and grabbed a phone directory with his beak, and then went on to place an order for a few pies from a local pizzeria situated in a nearby parallel universe. Fred The Wrench is making repeated reaches into his worn and greasy overalls, pulling out his old, dented, chrome booze flask and taking liberal celebratory swigs of the sauce... Sebastian's plopped down on a plush chair with his feet up... Larry Lamb realizes that his boys deserve this rare moment of relaxing recess from their stressful metaphysical drag racing missions... Our heroes are enjoying a sweet moment of peaceful and brotherly camaraderie...

 

There's a knock on the door... Fred The Wrench waddles his way over to the door, buzzed from all his celebratory boozing. "The pizzas are here, guys!", exclaims Fred to the others... "I'll pay for the pizzas, it's my treat to you all for a job well done!" says Larry Lamb as he reaches deep into his wooly pockets to pay the delivery unicorn (yes, unicorns deliver the pizzas around here)... Larry grabs the pizzas and carries them over to a table where he opens all the boxes... "One of 'em has crumbled crackers sprinkled all over it, that must be Peter The Parrot's.", Larry lightheartedly comments... "Yep, Polly wants a cracker, er, make that LOTS OF CRACKERS on my pizza!", squawks Peter The Parrot as he flutters his wings with unbridled excitement.... Larry Lamb then graciously serves up pizza slices to Fred, Peter and Sebastian, and fetches a few cold soft drinks from the refrigerator... "Aren't you having any pizza, Larry??" asks Sebastian... Larry replies: "Uh, no, there's some leftover sour cherry sorbet in the fridge that's gonna go bad if somebody doesn't eat it real soon. I'll just have that."...  A bloated, belching, slurring and obviously intoxicated Fred The Wrench then boisterously interjects: "That's our fearless leader Larry Lamb-- He's Mr. Fancy Pants with his sour cherry sorbet!--Hiccup, Hiccup!"... Fred's large body sways back and forth in a stupor... "FRED'S DRUNK!! FRED'S DRUNK!!", jokingly squawks a judgmental Peter The Parrot... "I'm not d-d-drunk, you birdbrained cracker-eating crackpot!!", Fred infuriatingly shouts back at Peter... "Now, now, my dear gentlemen... Let's all enjoy our victory celebration in a civilized manner." says Larry Lamb... "I AM being civilized," Peter The Parrot squawks, "It's Fred the buffoon who is drinking too much and stumbling over his own greasy overalls!"... "Who you calling a buffoon?!?", Fred exclaims as he takes a swipe and steals one of Peter's pizza slices... Peter then flies up and grabs Fred's cap right off his head, and drops it in a slimy patch of oil on the shop floor... Fred aggressively retaliates, getting a strong clutching grip on Peter The Parrot, angrily looking the bird straight in the eye and shouting, "How dare you do that?! That's my LIONS DRAG STRIP cap!! My favorite hat of all!! You are nothin' but an irritating flying freakazoid!!"...

 

 

With all the mayhem and commotion suddenly transpiring, Sebastian puts down his pizza and springs into action, running out of his chair to release Peter from Fred's firm grip... "C'mon you two!! You've got to get along!!", Sebastian shouts... Larry Lamb chimes in as well, "Yes, you two chaps were getting along so swell and dandy for awhile. You must put your ridiculous rivalry to rest! We're supposed to be a team, remember?!?"... "Awwww, alright, I'm sorry for losing my temper, boss", shrugs an apologetic Fred The Wrench.... "Me too... I'm sorry," Peter The Parrot says, "I promise to stop teasing the sloppy drunk.".... "HEY, Ya hear that, boss?!? Ya hear what that blasted bird just called me?!?!", billows an exasperated Fred The Wrench to Larry Lamb... "Okay, THAT'S ENOUGH... You're getting a time out, Mr. Peter," Larry Lamb says with authority to Peter The Parrot, "Take a slice of your pizza and go sit by yourself, up on that top shelf in the far corner of the shop."...  Peter then begrudgingly grabs a slice of pizza with his beak, and proceeds to fly up to the far corner of the shop for his disciplinary time out... All of a sudden a strange noise emanates from a piece of outdated looking office equipment... "What's that weird sound??" inquires Sebastian... "Uh oh, that's the emergency fax machine directly linked to the head office.", replies a winded Fred The Wrench... Peter The Parrot's still unable to contain himself, he loudly and laughingly squawks from his distant time out perch, "Who the heck uses a fax machine these days?!? HA!!"... Larry Lamb ignores the blabbering bird, and briskly walks over to the old fax machine, where he sees that the head office is sending over an urgent assignment.. When the message is complete, Larry pulls the paper from the machine, giving it a long and serious look, "Alright, fellows, our pizza party's officially OVER!! We now have our most critical and crucial assignment to date ahead of us!!!-- UP AND ADAM!!!-- UP AND ADAM!!!"... The fax machine then lets out a loud, amplified, deafening siren sound, as thousands of blaring lights throughout the race operation facility commence to furiously flashing in an eerie, erratic and exaggerated emergency mode!!... "UP AND ADAM!!", Larry Lamb yells out again as he slams his wooly fist on the table, "WE'VE GOT AN EMERGENCY OF CATASTROPHIC PARANORMAL PROPORTIONS, REQUIRING OUR IMMEDIATE AND UTMOST ATTENTION!!!... UP AND ADAM!!!-- UP AND ADAM!!!!"... Sebastian goes pale and looks genuinely worried because he's never seen the usually calm, cool and collected Larry Lamb appear this outright frazzled before... WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SO URGENT?!?!?!--- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE CATASTROPHIC EMERGENCY?!?!?!... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?....

 

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER!!...  So, what exactly IS going on?!? Our gleeful gang were briefly enjoying a rare moment of pizza eating peace-- Well, until Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot reignited their longstanding feud-- BUT, HOLY COW!!--- What's with this so-called EMERGENCY OF CATASTROPHIC PARANORMAL PROPORTIONS?!?!... We've never seen anything like this before!!... What's going to be expected of Sebastian Conrad aka The Phantom Racer now?!?... Will Larry Lamb be able to lead our crew through this CATASTROPHIC CHALLENGE?!?...  Will Peter The Parrot step up and lose his wisecracking disposition, and return to being a valuable team player?!?... What's going to happen next??... What IS this new and critical assignment!?!?!... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and thrive??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

 

Stayed tuned next Wednesday for the next chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!...

You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday).  TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2014 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.

 

 


Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is occupied with her Big Stick related recording responsibilities. We believe Doc will be back on the clock for Thursdays' s edition of her blog. Be sure to tune in here tomorrow for our TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER paranormal drag racing serial series. Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features a photograph that Doc snapped at E'Town's OLD TIME DRAGS event at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. Besides her various other talents, Doc's become quite the accomplished and award winning photographer. What we see here is veteran drag racing great Bruce Larson seated in the cockpit of Stan Shoppel's twin-engined flathead "Midnight Express" dragster. Bruce and the digger are parked in the staging lanes, waiting to be called out to the track, to parade the creatively crafted car in front of the enthusiastic crowd ... If you'd like to see the best in nostalgia themed drag racing dvds, look no further than Drag Racing Underground. Get your mitts on Drag Racing Underground's NOSTALGIA RAW and/or FUNNY CAR REUNION RAW dvds (click on the VIDEO CATALOG link at the top center of this page to check them out). Hardcore racers and fans across the globe agree that Drag Racing Underground dvds are the most entertaining full-length drag racing features known to all mankind!... AND be sure to mark your calender for Sunday, July 27th-- That's when this season's 2014 edition of E'Town's OLD TIME DRAGS event happens. You'll see cool old school drag racing machinery like this dragster and more! Doc highly recommends the event for fast family oriented fun. 



Bruce Larson seated in Stan Shoppel's "Midnight Express" twin-engined dragster. This is the kind of kool old skool drag strip machinery you'll see at E'Town on Sunday, July 27th.

Mark your calendar for Sunday, July 27th, that's when E'Town's OLD TIME DRAGS event takes place!


MY FOUR-WIDE NATIONALS NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS...

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Let's face it, the Four-Wide Nationals held at Bruton Smith's zMAX Dragway in North Carolina is probably the most "controversial" of events on the entire NHRA tour. It's certainly the only opportunity on the NHRA trail for fans to witness "four cars at a time" drag racing. And while you don't hear too many of the racers actually outright complain about the unique challenges of racing "four wide", you do often see them (like John Force did on TV yesterday) react somewhat evasively when asked  about their own personal opinion of the once-a-season experience. I think Matt Hagan recently referred to four-wide racing as being  "crazy" and "tricky", which I guess is a pretty honest and accurate description from a driver's point of view...  So yeah, it's a real handful for some racers to adjust to staging and racing alongside three other cars at a time instead of just one... And it's definitely a real handful for crew chiefs to deal with estimating the conditions and variables of dialing-in their team's cars for four different lanes as opposed to only two... All that said and considered, I must admit that after watching this past weekend's terrific TV coverage of the novelty race, from a spectator's point of view, it is kind of interesting and compelling... The "four at a time" thing gives a far more "grandiose" feel to the racing... It's gives the racing a more, uh, "colossal" character, if you will... And hey, it's only once a year, so even though it is a bit more of a challenge for the touring pro teams, I think they're all getting better at dealing with it and making the best of it... Congratulations are in order for all of yesterday's four-wide winners--  Antron Brown managed a stunning victory in Top Fuel...  Robert Hight fought fiercely to dominate the Nitro Funny Car category. Drag Racing Underground's own psychic sibling tipster Zagar amazingly told us all this past Thursday that he actually had a vision of seeing Robert Hight proudly holding up a Wally in the four-wide winner's circle. Once again a Zagar prediction becomes a genuine drag racing reality... In Pro Stock it was uplifting to see Swede Jimmy Alund capture a win while substituting for Greg Anderson... And in Pro Stock Bike we saw Andrew Hines take the crown, although I must admit that I was kind of rooting for local superstar Eddie Krawiec to win (but Eddie's runner-up finish was pretty darn admirable and impressive)... Thanks to ALL the many hardworking race teams who helped make NHRA's Four-Wide Nationals a most captivating motorsport event... You're all the cat's meow in my book...

 



Imagine the energy emanating from four nitro cars all racing simultaneously! That's exactly what race fans experienced at NHRA's Four-Wide Nationals. I discuss how it's still a bit tricky for NHRA's touring race teams to adjust to the novelty event.

I often say that drag racing is a form of escapism... With all the current moronic mayhem in this twisted world of ours, there's no denying that a little 4-Wide Nitro powered escapism served as a much welcome distraction this past weekend...

 

Hight became the first two-time Funny Car winner at the 5th annual NHRA Four-Wide Nationals after his win at zMAX Dragway on Sunday.

Antron Brown (Top Fuel), Jimmy Alund (Pro Stock), and Andrew Hines (Pro Stock Motorcycle) also took home victories during the fifth event on the 2014 NHRA Mello Yello Drag Racing Series schedule.

Hight took the 2012 NHRA Four-Wide Nationals and returned in style to Charlotte once again. The 2009 Mello Yello Drag Racing Series Funny Car world champ was the winner of the fall Charlotte race last season and won his second consecutive event with his 4.074-second pass at 311.34 mph in the Auto Club Ford Mustang.

"This has been a great weekend,” Hight said. “We love coming to zMAX Dragway. What a better place to bring potential sponsors than this facility. John [Force] and I getting to the final made it that much more special. It’s my fourth final in a row, and we’ve only missed two rounds in Pomona to start the season."

Coming into the final, the JFR driver was 0-4 against Alexis DeJoria, one of the other three final-round drivers, including losses to the Patron XO Cafe Funny Car in the finals of Phoenix and Las Vegas this season.

Robert Hight
Antron Brown

“You would think three Ford Funny Cars in the final would be pretty good odds,” Hight said. With the way she’s been running and winning races, it’s no gimme. That was a big one.”

Force finished as runner-up in his Castrol GTX High Mileage Ford Mustang while DeJoria and Tim Wilkerson were credited with semifinal finishes.

It was Hight’s second win of the season in four final-round appearances with both wins coming over Force. With the win, Hight increases his points lead over Force to 53 points.

Brown secured his first career victory at the NHRA Four-Wide Nationals, piloting his Matco Tools dragster to a 3.800 pass at 317.42 mph. The 2012 Top Fuel world champ took out runner-up and No. 1 qualifier Shawn Langdon, J.R. Todd, and Doug Kalitta to secure his second win of the season.

"My guys gave me an incredible race car," Brown said. "Everybody's competing on such a high level right now, and you just want to be on time because I know for sure that us as drivers all we can do is screw it up once we get up to the starting line. You just want to be on point. You want to be on time, and you just want to give it all you have.”

Brown, a member of the Don Schumacher Racing stable, went up in the final against two Kalitta Motorsports entries and an Al-Anabi Racing entry, a juggernaut team final in Top Fuel.

"When you go into a final and there's two Kalitta cars and an Al-Anabi car, it's pretty much stacked against you because the Kalitta team and [Alan Johnson's] team work together,” Brown said. “It's like running three teammates car against one, so they definitely had the advantage, but you go out there and do what you do. We just keep our head down and keep it to the grind, and we put our best foot forward today, and we were able to edge out and become the victors."

The Don Schumacher Racing driver leaves Charlotte second in points, 25 behind Kalitta.

Jimmy Alund
Andrew Hines

Appearing in his first career Pro Stock final, Alund took advantage and drove to victory in his second NHRA Four-Wide Nationals appearance. The Swede is substituting for four-time Pro Stock world champ Greg Anderson and ran a 6.562 pass at 211.59 in his Summit Racing Equipment Chevy Camaro, becoming the first European winner and only fourth non-American winner in the Mello Yello Drag Racing Series. Alund took out runner-up Shane Gray, Vincent Nobile, and recent Las Vegas winner Erica Enders-Stevens in the final.

“Since I got here the very first time, I didn’t feel pressure,” Alund said of his run in Pro Stock and the assignment of replacing Anderson. “I knew if I did my best that I could do much more. They’re [KB Racing] professionals, and they gave me a great race car. I think we work well together.”

Hines, a three-time Pro Stock Motorcycle world champ, won his second straight race in Charlotte with a 6.859 run at 196.10. The three-time Charlotte winner secured his first win of the season and 33rd of his career with the win over Eddie Krawiec, John Hall, and Scotty Pollacheck on a Harley-Davidson.

"This does a lot for my confidence because I've never had a round-win here [at the Four-Wide]," Hines said. "In fact, Charlotte was bad to me. It took four races before I broke through for a win at the two-wide race in the fall. At this race, there is so much going on that you never know what's going to happen. Some guys take a long time to stage, and some guys want to get up there as quickly as they can. You have to be prepared for anything."

The NHRA Mello Yello Drag Racing Series heads to Houston for the O’Reilly Auto Parts NHRA SpringNationals at Royal Purple Raceway, April 25-27.

Related story: Friday: Langdon, Capps, McGaha, Ray lead opening day in Charlotte
Saturday: Langdon, Capps, McGaha, Ray hold onto top spots in Charlotte

 For more news, notes, and quotes from the SummitRacing.com NHRA Nationals in Las Vegas, visit the NationalDragster.net event coverage (note: NHRA membership or site subscription required). Check it out here.

2014 NHRA MELLO YELLO DRAG RACING SERIES STAND
- See more at: http://www.nhra.com/story/2014/4/13/2014-charlotte1-sunday/#sthash.KFdrniuP.dpuf

FINAL DAY OF SPRING E'TOWN SWAP MEET & AUTO SHOW TODAY APRIL 13TH!!...

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Since "Mother Nature" is currently providing us with relatively pleasant weather, I'd like to encourage my local readers to attend the final day (today April 13th) of the 32nd Annual Spring Englishtown 2014 Swap Meet & Auto Show. It's sure a nice day to load the family into the car and take a drive to scenic Englishtown, NJ. This event is always fun for me. I love it because you never know what you'll find, there's all sorts of strange and unique treasures to be discovered at this swap meet spectacular. And the car shows are definitely the cat's pajamas! The coveted Vinnie & Richard Napp Memorial Cup is one of my favorites of the various different car show competitions. Raceway Park fills up their 300 spacious acres with enough cars, part, oddities, and novelties to keep you and your family busy, as you explore all the eye candy and interesting items on the massive well-groomed grounds. Lots of my friends and I make a point to check this event out, like my buddy Johnny Kelly of Type O Negative fame, he always scours the grounds for hard to find Mopar parts. Gates open 7:00 AM and close 6:00 PM. FREE PARKING. No pets. No motorized traffic allowed in the flea market area. Bicycles limited to 5mph. For more information please visit www.racewaypark.com

 

Lots of sweet rides and interesting car parts will be at your disposal TODAY for the final day of the 32nd Annual SPRING ENGLISHTOWN 2014 SWAP MEET & AUTO SHOW.  It's a "Fun for the Whole Family" kind of event. See it all at Raceway Park!!...

From the Drag Racing Underground video and image archives. Now the largest in the world.


DRAG RACING RELATIONSHIP & FAMILY EXPERT MS. EMMA...

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The management of Drag Racing Underground presents guest blogger Ms. Emma. With all the emails we receive regarding spousal and family relationships within the drag racing community, we thought it'd only be appropriate for us to find someone expertly experienced and qualified to discuss and dispense helpful advice on these sort of social matters. We believe there's no other person in the world as qualified to do so as Ms. Emma. She's been married four times to men whose hobby was drag racing. Ms. Emma is a divorcee who uses her true life experience and insight to help both men and women find balance with their spouses, family, friends, employers, etc, etc... Please keep in mind that the thoughts and opinions expressed by Ms. Emma do not necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground. Without further ado, we give you motorsports relationship expert extraordinaire Ms. Emma...


I would like to thank Drag Racing Underground for giving me this popular cyber platform to help others. Having gone through no less than four motorsports marriages, I believe that I possess a wealth of experience and expertise on the subject of finding balance and harmony in racing related family life. I'm providing you the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. I will open your mind and guide you to new vistas of fulfilling lifelong harmony and contentment... For my first guest blog installment here at Drag Racing Underground, I want to start slow, offering you just a few basic tips to enrich your marriage and family dynamic. First of all, honest and sincere communication is the key to keeping any type of relationship healthy. It's important that if your spouse wants to buy a new, expensive part or accessory for their race car, that they discuss it with you before doing so. When people keep secrets from each other, it often leads to trouble down the road. My second piece of advice is to always make time for romance. If your spouse is planning on spending the whole day at the drag strip, consider spending some cuddling time in the morning before he leaves. That morning cuddle will help keep you content through the long day at home. If you're going to be joining your spouse at the track, make time between racing rounds to share a hug or a flirtatious wink of the eye. My third recommendation is to write each other romantic little notes, nothing elaborate is required. Take a sharpie marker and write "I love you" on your spouse's baseball cap, or slip little notes in their pockets proclaiming your dedication to them. My final recommendation is to express an interest in their racing activities, ask to see their timeslips, inquire about their recent reaction times. What I'm trying to say is show a sincere interest. They'll love you for it... If you have a question for me or seek my expert advice, you can write to me by using the "CONTACT US" link at the top of this page. Please be sure to write "Ms. Emma" in the subject matter. When writing me also please include your first name and where you are from. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to respond to everyone here on the blog, but I'll try to do my best to help as many of you as humanly possible...

 



Ms. Emma is Drag Racing Underground's motorsports relationship and family expert extraordinaire. She's been through four motorsports marriages, so she knows the ropes. Ms. Emma provides readers the opportunity to learn from her mistakes. She'll open your mind and guide you to new vistas of fulfilling lifelong harmony and contentment. We're so glad to have her!

The thoughts and opinions of Ms. Emma do not necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground mgmt.


FEEDBACK FRIDAY... PSYCHICS, PHANTOM RACER, NHRA & IHRA EVENTS...

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Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding my most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog featuring psychic sibling tipsters Juniper and Zagar resulted in tons of emails, here's condensed versions of a couple we received. Olivia from Claymont, DE wrote, "Zagar's teen crush on Erica Enders is so cute and innocent. That was so sweet of him dreaming that he took her to his prom."-- On the other side of the coin, Michael from Norwich, KS said, "With all due respect, who the **** names their kids Juniper and Zagar? What kind of stupid names are those? So far those weird kids are far from their advertised 70% success rate!"...  Wednesday's 21st chapter of our TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Albinka from all the way in Krakow, Poland said, "Sebastian is so brave in your scary ghost story. I know he is a handsome drag racer man."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, this time saying, "When Fred pulled out his flask after the team saved the kids, I poured myself a stiff drink too!"-- Rudy from Malaga, CA said, "Larry Lamb's chant when he discovered the voodoo dolls was trippy! He's definitely the coolest character!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... Stephanie's blog featuring a pencil drawing that Drag Racing Underground's John Gill created when he was only 11 years old resulted in Jesse from Bassfield, MS writing, "I used to do drawings like that when I was a kid too. How about posting more of John Gill's artwork?"-- Uh, I don't think so, Jesse. John Gill was very reluctant to even allow us to post the one we did. Unfortunately he's not very involved with Drag Racing Underground anymore... Substitute blogger Mr. Stanley's IHRA related installment prompted Doug from Century, FL to write, "Thanks for Stanley reminding me about the Southern Nationals this weekend. I'm going to check out the geezer Funny Cars."... My blog urging folks to make plans now for NHRA's Summernationals coming up on May 29th - June 1st caused Hank from Foster, PA to say, "I'm taking all my grandchildren to Englishtown this year!"... Guest blogger Mary Murray's piece speculating on which female racer will be the one to nab NHRA's 100th professional class womanly win inspired Toby from Somerset, MD to write, "Of course Mary Murray had to pick a Force girl. Her constant Force fanaticism makes me sick."... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with my opinions, I'm genuinely interested in your feedback... I just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, I often find the location of where folks are writing me from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and I won't disclose your identity in the event I choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.

Illustration courtesy of Drag Racing Underground's own John Gill. Copyright 2014.


Doc used to do drag racing picks. She was unbelievably great at picking winners, confirming her so-called "visionary" talents. It was like Doc had a crystal ball giving her advance notice of who was going be in the winner's circle. Over the years we've been getting requests for Doc to once again put her tipster talents to work and write drag racing picks. However, with her current music and art related workload, that's just not possible... So we figured out another way to have an exciting and entertaining "tipster" feature here on the web site. We've recruited the psychic sibling team of Juniper and Zagar. This brother and sister psychic phenom both LOVE drag racing a whole heck of a lot!! They're young....They're fun.... And now they're DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND's very own exclusive psychic sibling tipsters... So without further ado, we present Juniper and Zagar...


Juniper: Hi everybody. My brother and I are so psyched that Drag Racing Underground has given us this opportunity to exercise our psychic abilities and do our picks on this popular cyber page!

 

Zagar: Yeah! This is soooooooo awesome!


Juniper: This coming weekend is the 5th Annual NHRA Four-Wide Nationals at zMAX Dragway in Concord, North Carolina.

 

Zagar: Today we're going to share with you our four-wide psychic foresight!


Juniper: Let's get right to our predictions. In the Top Fuel class I confidently pick "Super Spencer" Massey from Schumacher's racing camp. Spencer Massey is a Virgo who has won this event for the last two years in a row. Virgos do have a tendency to repeat good fortune in consistent patterns of three, that means he's highly susceptible to winning this weekend. Spencer Massey is going  to make it three zMAX victories in a row! You'll see!


Zagar: NOT! I predict Spencer Massey is going to get beat by his own boss Tony Schumacher. Actually, I predict that every racer who comes up against "The Shoe" this weekend is getting put on the trailer and sent packing. Tony Schumacher is a Capricorn. And all us high profile psychics know that Capricorns have superb competitive instincts, especially during this incredibly amazing April Moon cycle we're currently experiencing. Watch for the Army dragster with "Shoe" at the wheel to make it all the way to the four-wide winner's circle.

Juniper: Okay, moving on to the Nitro Funny Car class. I'm once again receiving positive solar and star energy from Team Schumacher... I predict that distinguished team driver Matt Hagin is destined for North Carolina success. I thoroughly checked his astrology charts for several hours, and it appears to me that this speedy Scorpio is going to topple the Funny Car field and even possibly set low E.T. for the event. Hagin is hot and ready to take on all challengers!


Zagar: Last night I stayed up late, intently peering through my brand new telescope up at the nighttime stars. A vivid vision came to me at midnight of none other than Robert Hight from the Force stable of racers, standing proudly in the winner's circle holding a Wally trophy! Hight's Auto Club Ford Mustang will be in complete universal sync with his strong Leo lion aura. He's going to roar all the way to a triumphant victory. You can bet on it, little sister!!

Juniper: Let's talk about Pro Stock. And you can stop trying to corrupt me by encouraging me with your gambling ways, big brother! HA!... But in all seriousness, kudos to you, Zagar, for picking the Vegas Pro Stock winner Erica Enders Stevens last time we were here at Drag Racing Underground. Didn't you once tell me that you had a vivid dream that you took Erica to your school prom??... Okay, let's get down to the business at hand. For the factory hot rods you will see Jeg Coughlin Jr. in his Jegs Mopar Avenger make some four-wide history. He's the sign of Cancer, the crab has landed and will pinch the competition silly in North Carolina. Oh, and don't forget that Jeggie is from our great home state of Ohio-- That's another factor that's influencing my favorable prediction for him and his team.


Zagar: Thanks for the props, sis. I sure did tell y'all that Erica Enders Stevens was going to win at NHRA's previous race in Las Vegas! And yes, I did once dream that I went to my prom with Erica. I think she's as sweet as the sweetest of sweet potato pies!... My Pro Stock pick for this coming weekend is Jason Line. The Summit team are going to boldly blow the doors off of the Jegsters! I make my prediction without even the slightest bit of doubt! Look for Jason's Summit Racing Camaro to race furiously on the four-wide course! Jason is a Leo who is going to leap like a lion over all his opponents. We're doing pretty good at picking NHRA's Pro Stock winners, aren't we, sis?!?


Juniper: Yes we are, big brother!! We've got the gift...  It's a very special gift that enables us to clearly look into the future, and then share our findings with the world. I am so grateful for this amazing ability we are so very fortunate to possess!


Juniper and Zagar are the adorable sibling teen psychics who are the new darlings of the drag racing world. They're what all the big buzz is about! Everybody is talking about this loveable brother and sister psychic duo's uncanny ability to predict winners.

If you have a question for Juniper & Zagar you can write them by using the "CONTACT US" link at the top of this page. Please be sure to write their names in the subject matter and include your date of birth. Juniper & Zagar are the exclusive property of Drag Racing Underground. Juniper's & Zagar's installments are for entertainment purposes only. All rights reserved. Copyright 2014.


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes do exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical drag racing team featuring top-honcho Larry Lamb, Sebastian Conrad aka The Phantom Racer, Fred The Wrench, and Peter the Pesky Parrot were in a match race against Wilma The Wicked Witch at a drag strip located on her terrifying terrestrial plane... Larry Lamb's clever plan to reverse Wilma The Wicked Witch's unfair windy advantage worked, as Peter The Parrot used his beak to keep the mystical dragon-shaped weather vane located atop the timing tower from spinning, subsequently stopping the warped eerie winds from adding additional horsepower to Wilma's engine's enhanced hoodoo voodoo intake . Despite Sebastian's dragster dropping cylinders, luminous gasses exhaled from Wilma's suffocating engine, resulted in her motor completely failing, and giving Sebastian an edge-of-your-seat win by mere millimeters. This whole situation sent Wilma the Witch into an extremely disoriented mental frenzy... Larry Lamb instructed Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot to go pose for winner's circle photos with Sebastian, as he set out to take advantage of Wilma's temporary befuddled state of mind, and discreetly venture about the grounds, to hopefully find a way to foil Wilma's ability of casting her sinister spells on the innocent downtrodden children at this dreary drag strip suspended in her dark dimension...

 

 

Sebastian aka The Phantom, Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot are now all posing together for tons of photos in the winner's circle. Fred has his arm around Sebastian. Peter is proudly perched on Sebastian's shoulder. While all this commotion is transpiring, Larry Lamb is looking around the grounds, in hopes of finding a way to complete our team's assigned mission of saving the children from Wilma The Witch's wicked wrath... Wilma then crassly crashes the winner's circle celebration and shouts out loud: "I don't know how just yet, but I'm going to get back at you, Peter Parrot, for stopping my metaphysical weather vane with your beak and costing me this race!!"-- Then she looked around and said: "Where's that pompous Larry Lamb boss of yours?? Why isn't he here gloating in victory for this photo opportunity??"... Fred The Wrench then tries to cover for an absent Larry Lamb by saying: "Uh, uh, I think he had to go back to the trailer 'c-c-cause he had a tea brewing on the hotplate. Uh, uh, yeah, t-t-that's where he went."... Wilma gives Fred an evil and somewhat skeptical eye, but appears as if she's bought Fred's stuttering explanation of Larry's whereabouts... Peter The Parrot whispers in Sebastian's ear as cameras keep clicking in the winner's circle: "Larry better be finding a way to save all these poor kids from that wicked witch."... Sebastian then mutters to Peter, "I'm sure he's on to something. Larry's one smart lamb."... Larry IS on to something-- He's valiantly investigating a desolate part of the strip's pits where he finds an old cardboard box full of small voodoo dolls. At a closer glance, he notices that all the dolls share a resemblance to the downtrodden children. Evidently it's these dolls that make it possible for Wilma to cast her wicked spells on the children. Larry remembers an ancient remedy to neutralize the dolls of their voodoo properties. He reaches into one of his fleece pockets and pulls out a glowing lavender lollipop. Larry then stares at the lollipop and repeatedly recites the wizardly words: "Dolls of voodoo of all the ages, lose you grip on these children and release them from Wilma The Witch's spellbound rages!!"...

 

...Suddenly all the downtrodden children's tattered clothes appeared brand new, and their dreadful dispositions change to spectacular smiles and boisterous joy!! The children all cheered with glee as a result of their new immunity from Wilma's wickedness. The radically positive change in the children immediately caught the attention of Wilma The Witch, as she shrieked at the top of her lungs: "I KNOW WHERE THAT DAMN LARRY LAMB IS!! HE FOUND MY STASH OF VOODOO DOLLS AND REVERSED THEIR SPELL CASTING POWER ON THE CHILDREN!! I KNEW YOU DO-GOODERS WERE HERE FOR MORE THAN JUST THE MATCH RACE!!!!"...  Larry's reversal of the sinister spell powers guarantees that the children will be free of Wilma's wicked wrath for at least another hundred years. Wilma then yells to her ghastly crew of monstrous minions: "CEASE THOSE DO-GOODERS AND LOCK THEM IN THE HIDDEN DUNGEON OF THE TIMING TOWER!!!"... But before any of Wilma's ghoulish henchmen can get their hideous hands on our heroic team, Larry, Sebastian, Fred, and Peter quickly dematerialized with their dragster and racing rig back to their heavenly headquarters...

 

... Our courageous crew now find themselves back home at their racing operations base where they can all breathe a much deserved sigh of relief... "Oh dear me, that was a close one.", says a shaken Larry Lamb... "I gotta hand it to you, boss, you really came through for those wonderful kids.", interjects a flabbergasted Fred The Wrench... Sebastian then chimes in, "All that drag racing and voodoo stuff has made me hungry!"... Peter The Parrot then flies up to a shelf in the shop and grabs a phone directory book with his beak... "And just what do you intend on doing with that phone book?", Fred asked the busy bustling bird... "I'm gonna find a pizzeria to deliver us a large pie with crumbled cracker toppings!!" replies Peter... "Crumbled cracker toppings??" says Larry Lamb... "Yeah, crumbled crackers! 'Cause Polly wants crumbled crackers on his pizza!!", Peter The Parrot replies... "Boy oh boy, I need a stiff drink right now!", says Fred The Wrench as he reaches into his worn and greasy overalls and pulls out his old, dented, chrome booze flask... Then the whole crew collectively breaks out in loud laughter, and takes a rare moment of relaxing recess from their stressful metaphysical drag racing missions... Our heroes are enjoying a sweet moment of peaceful and brotherly camaraderie...  for now...

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER!!...  Our gleeful gang are all enjoying a very rare moment of peace, but as we have all come to learn, the peaceful and tranquil times are few and far between for Sebastian Conrad aka The Phantom Racer, Top-Honcho Larry Lamb, Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot. What's going to happen next??... What will be their next important assignment??... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and thrive??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control??... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

 

Stayed tuned next Wednesday for the next chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!...

You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday).  TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2014 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.

 

 

 


The management of Drag Racing Underground presents our new guest blogger Mary Murray. She's an opinionated woman from the northwest. Mary has been aggressively writing us over the past few months, asking that we give her the opportunity to occasionally substitute for The Doc. Truth is that Doc is mighty busy of late with her Big Stick music duties, and her sculpture pursuits, so we figure giving Mary a trial period as a substitute blogger might be a good idea. Being that Drag Racing Underground is known as the strongest advocate of free speech among drag racing web sites, we're willing to give this outspoken lady a guest spot when Doc is too busy to blog. Please keep in mind that the thoughts and opinions expressed by Mary Murray with her MARY'S MOUTHPIECE blog submissions do not necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground. Without further ado, we give you Mary Murray...


HEY YOU GUYS!!! Wake up and smell the coffee! Drink the coffee and then have another cup on me. I'm Mary. I going to put my cards right on the table. I am happy as a kitty in a yarn warehouse to be able to communicate with you on the drag racing site best known for insightful thought and unrestricted freedom of expression. I'm still pretty bummed out about having to eat crow over my  prediction that John Force was going to remain undefeated for the entire 2014 season. That was a while ago but it seems like yesterday. Actually, I haven't had a guest blog spot here at Drag Racing Underground for well over a month, so I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to be back at my keyboard writing again. NHRA is coming up on a major motorsports milestone. The stellar sanctioning organization is just 2 wins away from a total of 100 pro wins by a woman! I've been asked to share my guess of who the lucky woman is going to be to reach the 100 pro wins milestone. Let's get one thing straight, I'm nothing like those two paranormal psychic sibling kids Juniper and Zagar. I don't claim to have any strange psychic powers or any of that kind of silly stuff up my sleeve. I'm probably going to get some guff for saying this, but I think those two kids are full of bouncing bonkers bananas. I just don't believe in their brand of psychic hooey. Nonetheless, I'm going to go out on a limb and take a guess at which woman I believe is going to crack 100 female pro wins. My number one guess is Courtney Force. She's my top pick for making it a historic 100 womanly wins in NHRA professional competition. I'll bet a lot of you already figured out that I was going to pick someone from the fantastic Force family to do it. My second choice is Brittany Force. For my third choice I would have to say Erica Enders Stevens. And my fourth choice guess would be that exotic looking Alexis DeJoria billionaire broad. Some people have told me that we shouldn't care about which woman wins the magic 100 number. For some reason all of the people who've told me that are men. I care. I think it will be something to celebrate. I'm proud of all our racing gals who have the gumption for go for the dramatic drag racing gusto! Go Courtney! GO COURTNEY!! I want to end with a very special message for everyone. We all love cheap clothes and electronics bargains, but can we all please join the fight against overseas child slavery, and do our part to eliminate child slave labor in our lifetime. Thank you.

 

 

Mary Murray's views and opinions don't necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground's mgmt.

 

 


The management of Drag Racing Underground presents our guest blogger Mr. Stanley. Over the last couple of years we've received many requests from Mr. Stanley, asking that we give him the opportunity to speak his peace. Being that Drag Racing Underground is known as the strongest advocate of free speech among drag racing web sites, we decided to give Mr. Stanley an occasional guest spot when Doc is too busy with her music and art projects to blog. Please keep in mind that the thoughts and opinions expressed by Mr. Stanley do not necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground. Without further ado, we give you Mr. Stanley...


I'm really honored to be writing substitution blogs for drag racing's first lady of journalism. Like I said on this page before, I'm feeling psyched because I've been told by management that I'll be substituting for Doc more frequently this year! She's going to be very busy with her Big Stick musical and artistic activities, so that means you'll be seeing more of me. Drag Racing Underground has assigned me to covering the IHRA side of drag racing. Today I'm passing along the word about IHRA's Nitro Jam drag racing series returning to Florida this coming weekend, April 11-12 for the IHRA Southern Nationals at Bradenton Motorsports Park. Five professional classes will be run with qualifying on Friday, April 11th and eliminations happening Saturday April 12th. The pro classes include Nitro Funny Cars, Nitro Altereds, Nitro Harleys, Jet Dragster and my favorite of them all, the Mountain Motor Pro Stocks! I like the IHRA's Funny Car program because they give the Nostalgia Funny Car teams a chance to get some exposure. Mark Sanders' "Mr. Explosive" and Jason Rupert's "Black Plague" Camaro are just two of the many geezer Funny Cars scheduled to show. In the Nitro Altered class Kyle Hough's "Nanook" and Mike Hilsabeck's "Arizona Thunder" are a couple of the big names booked to participate. Mountain Motor Pro Stock superstars include John DeFlorian (the new E.T. and mph record holder), Pete Berner, Cary Goforth, Scott Hintz and many more. Sportsman racing is also a big part of the IHRA show. I can't forget mentioning the Sportsman competitors because they are the backbone of drag racing! There's also going to be IHRA's fully interactive Fan Fest pit experience featuring the Batmobile from the 1960's Batman television series, the DeLorean Back To The Future car and more. I love to watch NHRA racing, IHRA racing, aw hell, shucks, dagnabbit, I LOVE IT ALL!!... My old buddies tease me because they believe you're only supposed to follow one kind of racing with only one sanctioning body-- Yawn. SCREW THAT, MARTHA!! I FOLLOW IT ALL!!... Yep, I'm rough around the edges, but, that's just how I roll. I don't make any apologies for being who I am. I don't care what people think of me. I'm much too old for that. Drag Racing Underground told me that if I write 100 words or more for each computer article they would generously compensate me for my trouble. I'm a happy camper if I have enough in my wallet to buy some drag rags, a six pack of beer, a bag of cashews and a new pair of socks.  Next time I get the chance to do this, I'll have something more to talk about. Over and out, Kemosabe.

 

 

Mr. Stanley's views and opinions don't necessarily reflect those of Drag Racing Underground's mgmt.

 

 


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