Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.
Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were experiencing a teleportation related catastrophe! Their newest assignment requires them to time travel further into the future than ever before! They're summoned to the year 707000! Unfortunately when leader Larry Lamb commenced teleportation, a blasting beam of unusual infrared radiation cultivated their immediate space, wrapping our team with speed-of-light, sweeping, sinister, sonic spiraling patterns!!... "SOMETHING'S GONE HORRIBLY WRONG!!!" shouted Larry Lamb with distressed anxiety, "THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL TELEPORTATION!! WE'RE BEING SUCKED THROUGH A VENOMOUS VACUUM TUBE, PROPELLED BY SOME KIND OF HAYWIRE ATOMIC-DRIVEN TURBULENCE AND TORQUE!! THE LAWS OF PHYSICS ARE BREAKING DOWN AT AN ALARMING RATE!! WE'RE BEING BOMBARDED BY A PLETHORA OF ANTI-MATTER-ATOMIC-DRIVEN PARTICLES!! WE'RE WARPING INTO A DARK DRAG RACING DIMENSION!!! THE DISTORTION OF TIME, SPACE AND MATTER IS SENDING US INTO AN ORNERY ORBIT CONTROLLED BY INTERSTELLAR FIENDS FROM A DISTANT AND DEVIOUS FUTURE!!!"
Our heroes have been snatched up by a ghoulishly gruesome galaxy existing in the distant year 707000, trapping them in a terrorizing teleportation malfunction!! Going so far into the future has put too much of a burden on their teleportation mechanism!! It appears they have no control of their fate or destiny!! They're engulfed in an atomic odyssey!!... "THIS IS A MERCILESS TELEPORTATION!!" screams a frantic Maria at the top of her lungs, "IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO GET OUT OF THIS, BOSS?!?"... Larry Lamb replies "I DO HAVE A CANCELLING SWITCH ON MY TELEPORTING REMOTE, BUT WE'VE NEVER USED IT BEFORE!!!"... "I THINK WE BETTER GET OUT OF THIS MOLECULAR MESS!!!" yells Sebastian... "NO WAY!!!" stands up the slightly sauced Fred The Wrench, "I'VE NEVER BACKED OUT OF AN ASSIGNMENT IN ALL MY YEARS OF SERVICE!!!"... "OH MY!!!" says Larry Lamb as he takes a disturbed stare at Fred The Wrench, "FRED, YOU'RE MORPHING INTO SOME KIND OF PRIMITIVE LOOKING BLOWN HEMI ENGINE!!!"... "UH, I DON'TS CARE WHAT I'M BECOMING!!!" shouts a defiant Fred The Wrench, "IF I MUST BECOME AN OLD BLOWN HEMI IN THIS STAGE OF MY AFTERLIFE IN ORDER TO GET A JOB DONE, THEN SO BE IT!!!!"... The group are taken aback by Fred's stubborn macho stance, especially since he's morphing in an eerie and mortifying way, into what appears to be an old circa 1957 Chrysler hemi engine, that you'd see powering an ancient relic of a digger... "HEY FRED!!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, " YOUR CHANGE IN APPEARANCE AND MASS IS GAINING MOMENTUM TOWARDS THE DARKSIDE!!!"
Fred The Wrench's hemi molecular morphing is now taking on the characteristics of a volatile oil fire!!!... Fred starts screaming, his words of desperation are warbling into a distorted firestorm of pain, "OH NO!!! I CAN'TS HANDLE DIS!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!"... Larry Lamb activates the switch on his remote teleportation device, to cancel the mission and hopefully free our crew of this darkside generated doom!!... Unfortunately the evil force is initiating a metaphysical resistance, refusing to let our heroes escape its wrath!! Maria chants out loud, "RELEASE OUR FRED, HE IS NOT TO BECOME AN OVERHEATED HEMI, SWIRLING AIMLESSLY INTO THE BITTER ABYSS OF EVIL!!! HE IS TO REMAIN OUR FRED, NOT BE AMONG THE DARK OF THE DEAD!!!"... Sebastian starts swirling and spinning-- he conjures up a respirator mask, helmet, and fire suit on his body, replacing his former casual jeans and t-shirt attire... "THIS HEMI ENGINE MORPHING IS BURNING MY SPIRIT!!!" screams a less audible and progressively ailing Fred The Wrench... Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer runs directly into Fred, bravely embracing the fierce fire burning Fred's rambunctious hemi-engine appearing bodily form... Then there's a bright flash of magenta light!!... "MY COMPRESSION RATIO IS COCKEYED!!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!" screams a gurgling man who is practically no longer a man, but instead, a burning hemi engine!!... Sebastian's helmet rapidly rotates around his head while his goggles and respirator mask remain in place!!! The helmet continues to accelerate to a freakishly fast pace!!... KAAAAABBOOM!!!.... WHITE LIGHT GLARES WITH INTENSITY!!! FIRE, GASES, AND ATOMIC PARTICLES FROM DRAG RACING PAST LIVES TWIST AND WARP WITH GYRATIONS FUELED BY NITROMETHANE!!!! KAAAABBOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then all the radioactive ruckus eventually clears and the terror subsides. Our group now find themselves in a peaceful and organic environment. "HEY!!" says Sebastian, "FRED'S NOT A BURNING HEMI ANYMORE!!"... "Yes, it seems that Maria's chanting and your metaphysical actions have worked, Sebastian." Larry Lamb states with conservative optimism, "However, I have no idea of where we are now?? We're not back at headquarters?? This is all so strange."... The new surroundings resemble those of an enchanting landscape, with exotic trees and green rolling hills. Tweets of sweet songbirds fill the air... "Groovy!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "Maybe this place has some hottie female parrots who'd like to get romantically acquainted with me?!?"... "I'm just happy that my spirit ain'ts burning up anymore!!!" spouts a relieved Fred The Wrench,"I had no idea of how much heat gets generated inside a burning hemi engine!!!"... "Hmmmm." grits a visibly skeptical Maria, "This is too good to be true. I'm wondering if this is just another level of trickery generated by the dark forces???"... "Awww, c'mon Maria!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "Why do you have to be such a freakin' killjoy?!? Can't ya just accept that we've escaped danger and have been teleported to a safe and heavenly place?!?"... "You know," interjects a now somewhat weary Larry Lamb, "I believe that Maria's skeptical tone may indeed be warranted. My instincts are leading me to also suspect something isn't legit with all this.".... "Shhhhh" says Sebastian, "Did you hear THAT?!?"... "Hear what?!?" squawks a now annoyed Peter The Parrot... Then the sounds of the sweet songbirds abruptly cease... In the distance echoes the sound of multiple nitro motors revving together like a sinister storm brewing over the horizon... The picturesque trees and hills violently vanish, and our group are now surrounded by nothing except hot, steaming blacktop for as far as the eye can see... The warm sunshine is replaced by the dreariest skies of metaphysically demented doom!!... "LOOK OUT!!!!!!" shouts Sebastian, "GOOD GRIEF LOOK OUT!!!!!!!"...
Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... For a short time, it appeared that our do-gooders clearly escaped their teleportation terror, and were in a safe and enchanted environment... Fred The Wrench was no longer morphed into an ancient hemi engine on fire, birds were sweetly singing, all seemed so very peaceful and safe--- BUT THEN, sounds of gnarly nitro motors echoed in the distance, picturesque trees and rolling hills disappeared, hot blacktop now surrounds them, their circumstances have taken an abrupt, dark turn... Sebastian shouted "LOOK OUT!!!!!"... LOOK OUT FOR WHAT?!?!--- WHAT THE HECK DOES SEBASTIAN SEE THAT'S GENERATING SUCH CAUSE FOR ALARM?!?... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...
Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2015 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.