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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were enjoying a birthday party for Fred The Wrench. It was decided that the crew would take a trip through parallel universes, in order to buy Fred some CARtoons and drag racing magazines at strategic drag strip swap meets. The group is traveling with one of the heavenly hot rod outfit's most prized possessions, a beaming black 1950 Ford Custom Deluxe Woody Station Wagon powered by four Blown Hemi Engines! The wagon is stretched out to accommodate several passengers, and it features all-wheel drive with fat racing slicks all around. Nobody knows what Fred's actual birthday wish was when he blew out the candles on the cake, but whatever the case, there's no denying that his birthday party is well underway... "LET'S ROLL, BABY!! TODAY IS GOING TO BE MY BEST DARN BIRTHDAY EVER!!!" shouts Fred The Wrench with elated and inebriated exuberance as all are assembled inside the car, even Maria Conrad will be taking her very first metaphysical trip out with the boys!! Maria went to the heavenly headquarters' wardrobe department and slipped into a stunning, glittering glitzy halter top with matching custom tailored shorts. She looks simply smashing for her first trip out of the office... Our gang are all now comfortably seated in the wicked wagon, with Larry Lamb in the driver's seat, and they're dematerializing to their first time-traveling drag strip swap meet destination... One can only wonder what sort of adventure awaits our paranormal dream team on this special day dedicated to Fred The Wrench's birthday fun and frolic??...

 

The group begins to materialize on a deserted rural road in Muskogee, Oklahoma, circa 1973. Nobody witnesses the big black, blown, woody wagon metaphysically appearing on the isolated back road surrounded by woods and brush. The car and our crew are now planted on solid ground and ready to start their day's travel.... "Oh my," says Maria Conrad, "We're back on earth! I was getting so homesick for this place!"... "YEE HAW," shouts Fred The Wrench, "WE'RE IN OKLAHOMA! ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES IN ALL THE MANY UNIVERSES!!"... "Yes," interjects leader Larry Lamb, "We're just a few miles from Muskogee Drag-A-Way. They're having a big swap meet today. I believe there's going to be a lot of magazine vendors, so you'll have a wide selection of 'zines to get for your birthday, Fred!"... "I think Fred wants some more adult beverages," squawks Peter The Parrot, "Fred hasn't had a drink in at least four or five minutes!! HA!!"... "Hey," says Sebastian, "Cool it, Peter. Today is Fred's birthday, cut him some slack!"... "Uh," Larry adds, "Sebastian is right, dear Peter. Today's Fred's birthday and we want him to have some fun. I'LL be the one to keep an eye on his alcohol consumption."... Then Larry grabs hold of the custom woody's wooden steering wheel and starts driving the loud wagon in the direction of the drag strip swap meet... The car goes "WHOMP! WHOMP! WHOMP!" with its four big blown engines!...  "How 'bout some tunes? Does this beast have a radio?? asks Maria as they start gaining speed and accelerating on the long dirt road to their destination... "There's no radio," says Sebastian as he affectionately cuddles in the back seat with Maria, "Just dig the sounds of the four blown Hemi engines that power this ride!!"... "Oh, I get it," replies Maria, "The engines are supposed to be like music to our ears, right?"... "Yeah," says Sebastian as he raises his voice to be heard over the sharp cacklin' and rumblin' of the blown wagon, "Something like that, Maria! Enjoy the sound of brute horsepower!!"...

 

A few minutes pass of driving and jovial jibber-jabber between our five friends. The wagon then pulls up to the entrance gate of Muskogee Drag-A-Way. There's a handful of cars with passengers positioned in front of our gleeful gang, waiting to pay at the entrance gate to get in... "Hey, boss," says a sauced-up Fred The Wrench to Larry Lamb, "Check out how all the folks are staring at us in this wagon! We're gettin' an awful lot of attention!!"... "Yes," replies Larry Lamb, "We do seem to be attracting lots of looks!"... "What the heck do you expect?" squawks Peter The Parrot, "You pull into a rural strip like this with a wild four-engined blown woody wagon, it ain't like we're being inconspicuous!"... "I'm afraid Peter has a point," says Larry, "We must certainly be a sight of envy with this waaay over-the-top hot rod of ours!!"... A few more minutes elapse, and it's finally our metaphysical team's turn to pull up to the pay booth... There's a tall, irritable looking guard manning the admission booth, he takes one look at our crew and bluntly says, "Look, I can't let y'all into this swap meet today. I'll bet this crazy wagon of yours ain't even street legal, and that chubby geezer wearin' the greasy overalls looks drunk as a skunk-- and it ain't even noon yet!!... AND I definitely can't let in that broad sittin' in the backseat, not as long as she's wearing that floozy outfit!!"... Sebastian immediately gets defensive of his gal and says, "Look, pal, there's nothing indecent or inappropriate about what my wife Maria is wearing. You just ain't ever seen customized classy clothes before!!"... Maria puts her hand on Sebastian's shoulder and says, "Calm down, honey.".... "Yeah," replies the cocky guard, "You better tell your hot-under-the-collar hubby to calm down. We just don't want your kind around here."... "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?" shouts a slurring and sozzled Fred The Wrench... "Listen," says the guard as he aggressively points a finger directly at Larry Lamb's nose, "This one here in the driver's seat looks like a farm animal, the one sittin' next to him is drunk, the broad in the back looks like a go-go dancer from some high-falutin' Hollywood swingers' outer-space soiree!! Turn this freaky heap around and get the h*ll out of here!!!"... "My dear sir," says Larry Lamb to the guard with a tone of heightened authority in his voice, "I'm prepared to pay you quite handsomely to overlook our, uh, er, flamboyant oddities and let us in this swap meet. It's my friend Fred's birthday and we want to get in!"... Then to our group's sudden surprise, the guard wraps his hands around Larry Lamb's thick, wooly neck!!... "THAT'S IT," shouts an angered Fred The Wrench, "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AND WE'RE GONNA PARTY AT THIS DRAG STRIP SWAP MEET!!"... All this vicious and volatile commotion gets the attention of other track guards and personnel, causing them to rapidly run towards the scene ... OH NO!!!!... Is Fred The Wrench's birthday bash about to turn into a RAUCOUS RUMBLE?!?!?...

 

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... It seems as if Fred The Wrench's birthday celebration has taken a critical hit at the entrance gate of Muskogee Drag-A-Way in Oklahoma!!... The grumpy guard manning the pay booth has shown extreme prejudice against our metaphysical, time-traveling heroes-- He insulted leader Larry Lamb and even put his hands on Larry's wooly throat, he's called birthday boy Fred a "drunk", and he also had the nerve to say that Maria Conrad looks like a "go-go dancer from high-falutin' Hollywood swingers' outer-space soiree"!!... Tempers are certainly flaring up!! Sebastian aka THE PHANTOM RACER is piping mad!!... Additional track guards and personnel are now running towards the scene!! Is this going to escalate into a raucous rumble?!?... Is THIS what happens when a group of do-gooders try to spend a recreational day at a drag strip swap meet?!?... It's Maria's very first trip out of the heavenly office and THIS is what she has to experience?!?... Are our crew going to be able to get out of this mess?!?... What's going to happen next??... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stayed tuned next Wednesday for the next chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday).  TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2014 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


SUBSTITUTE STEPHANIE'S SNAPSHOT OF THE DAY... DIANA THE DOC AND ME...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is occupied with her Big Stick related recording responsibilities. We believe that Doc will hopefully be back on the clock soon. Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features one of my all time favorite photos of my boss, Diana "The Doc" and myself, working closely together at the track. I am seen here with my clipboard in hand, serving as Doc's trusty assistant. We're both laughing up a storm. Doc is such a pleasant person, as well as an extremely funny individual to hang out with. She's always sharing her unique brand of humor with those like myself, those of us fortunate enough to have the opportunity to work with her. This photo was shot by Drag Racing Underground's Rusty Ebberly. You can see Diana "The Doc", well known as the sport's leading "Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary", on Drag Racing Underground's complete catalog of exciting and eclectic drag racing dvd releases. Many drag racing fans who are really in-the-know agree that Drag Racing Underground dvds are the most HARDCORE forms of drag racing entertainment on the planet. They're simply the best. You can check them all out by clicking of the "Video Catalog" link conveniently located at the top center of this page.

 

Nobody else is quite as dedicated to covering the drag racing scene and offering up bright and straightforward insight like Drag Racing Underground's own Diana "The Doc". No brag, just fact. Her award winning coverage speaks for itself. She's a great journalist and one of the most incredibly nicest of people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I'm so grateful for her giving me the opportunity to fill in for her here on this popular blog page in her absence. She's a terrific boss and friend to me.

Stephanie on the left. Doc on the right.


This past weekend I spent much of my time at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, NJ. Saturday was the MOPARS @ E'TOWN event. There were an unbelievable number of classic Mopar muscle cars in attendance. I just loved gazing at all the pristine examples of classic Mopar machinery. There were also a good number of modern-day Mopars on hand too. The late Ken Montgomery of "Triple Nickel" racing fame was honored at the event. The swap meet area had all sorts of interesting goodies to peruse and purchase. I wound up buying lots of cool Mopar related memorabilia. It was also nice to have longtime friend Johnny Kelly show up and hang out at the race (more about that in the captioned photo below). Later in the day "Mother Nature" let some precipitation fall from the skies, but hey, I'm really thankful for the time we all shared before the rain arrived... Then on Sunday I was at Raceway Park again for THE DIGS @ E'TOWN. As you're probably already aware, THE DIGS is a groovy traditional and old school drag racing series that usually happens at the track's 1/8 mile strip. The car count and number of spectators was probably among the best I've witnessed in recent memory. Some of the East Coast Gassers showed up and rocked the house. The Ida crew had their "Hemi Healy" AND a real trick looking Pro Stock style Vega on the premises. There were many cool and unique rides. Please keep in mind that there's going to be a special "MONSTER BASH" edition of THE DIGS AT E'TOWN on Sunday, October 26th. There's going to be a Gasser Shootout presented by Ida Automotive, a matchrace between the turbine powered Batmobile and the supercharged Monkeemobile, a special Pin Up Girl Contest is scheduled too! There's going to be all sorts of cool things happening at THE DIGS on Oct 26th. I strongly suggest that you make plans now to BE THERE!! I'm really looking forward to it!! I'll be telling you more about the event in my upcoming blogs...



Yours truly with Johnny Kelly and a couple of his buddies at Raceway Park. We're hanging out at the Mopars At E'Town event. Johnny recorded guest drums on our Big Stick track called "Hoochie Express". It'll be featured on the upcoming Big Stick album release. Johnny's played with Type O Negative, Danzig, Zakk Wylde, Kill Devil Hill and others. He's a bona-fide gearhead and proud owner of a sweet 'n' speedy 1970 Dodge Super Bee. Johnny did a superb job playing on our recording.

From the Drag Racing Underground video and image archives. Now the largest in the world. Copyright 2014.


First of all, I want to express how much fun I had yesterday attending the MOPARS @ E'TOWN event. Despite the fact that "Mother Nature" hit us with some precipitation, I sure had a great time while it lasted. Getting to see longtime friend Johnny Kelly and his buddies was neat. As some of you know, Johnny recorded guest drums on a Big Stick track with me, that will be featured on the upcoming Big Stick release. Of course Johnny's played with Type O Negative, Zakk Wylde, Kill Devil Hill and others. There were so many groovy classic Mopars that showed up! I'll talk more about that in tomorrow's blog... However, for now, I'd like to tell you about what's happening TODAY Sunday, August 24th, at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. Today is a special "noise day" edition of THE DIGS AT E'TOWN. It's no secret that I believe THE DIGS AT E'TOWN is the coolest and smoothest old school and traditional drag racing series in the world. It all takes place at Raceway's 1/8 mile strip. Keep in mind that today there's going to be a special Classic Mopar class for all Mopars 1979 and older. So if you were running the MOPARS AT E'TOWN event yesterday, you can return to E'Town today and take part in the CLASSIC MOPAR 1/8 MILE STREET TIRE or SLICK TIRE CHAMPIONSHIP. That's right, there's going to be a street tire class and slick tire class. It's just 12 bucks to get into the DIGS AT E'TOWN and that includes a tech card to race your car! Of course the other usual exciting classes will also be appearing today, other brands of muscle cars '79 and older, Hot Rods, Rat Rods, Street Freaks, Straight Axles, Gassers, Vintage Race Cars of all sorts of interesting varieties of race machinery... And like I said earlier,  today is a "noise" day, so both muffled AND unmuffled cars are welcome to stampede THE DIGS drag strip. Gates open 9am. Use gate 4 to enter the 1/8 mile strip (the airport gate).  See ya there!!

 


I tell you how to satisfy your desire to see some classic drag strip machinery at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park, like the crowd pleasing "Woodsmen Shaker" Chevy seen here.  Make plans RIGHT NOW to get out to THE DIGS AT E'TOWN today!

From the Drag Racing Underground video and image archives. Now the largest in the world.


THIS weekend there's plenty of reasons to come out to Old Bridge Township Raceway Park! Today, Saturday, August 23, it's the mammoth MOPARS @ E'TOWN event. All you hardcore  "Mopar Or No Car" enthusiasts do not want to miss this gala gearhead gathering. There's going to be plenty of old school and new school Mopars on the premises. You'll see lots of great drag racing (muffled) and plenty of show car oriented activity too. Gates open 8am. Time Trials begin 10am... Then tomorrow, Sunday, August 24, it's THE DIGS AT E'TOWN. As you probably are already well aware, THE DIGS is the coolest and smoothest old school and traditional drag racing series in the world. It all takes place at Raceway's 1/8 mile strip. Keep in mind that there will be a special Classic Mopar class for all Mopars 1979 and older. So if you are racing the MOPARS AT E'TOWN event today (Saturday), please consider coming back to E'Town tomorrow (Sunday) to take part in a special CLASSIC MOPAR 1/8 MILE STREET TIRE & SLICK TIRE CHAMPIONSHIP. That's right, there's going to be a street tire class and slick tire class. Just 12 bucks to get into the DIGS AT E'TOWN and that includes a tech card to race your car! Of course the other usual exciting classes will also be appearing, other brands of muscle cars '79 and older, Hot Rods, Rat Rods, Street Freaks, Straight Axles, Gassers, Vintage Race Cars of all sorts of interesting varieties of race machinery... Sunday is a "noise" day, so both muffled AND unmuffled cars are welcome to stampede THE DIGS drag strip. Gates open 9am. Use gate 4 to enter the 1/8 mile strip (the airport gate).




In today's blog I tell you how you can satisfy your desire to see some classic Mopars, as well as some other brands of classic drag strip machinery at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. Make plans RIGHT NOW to get out to the drags THIS WEEKEND!!...

Today is MOPARS @ E'TOWN and tomorrow is THE DIGS @ E'TOWN. Two great events in one action packed weekend!


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog featuring my restaurant review of Anton's At The Swan in Lambertville, NJ, resulted in tons of emails, here's condensed versions of a couple we received. Darla from Ewing, NJ wrote, "I've dined at Anton's At The Swan a number of times with my family. You are so right for recommending it as a 5 star restaurant!"-- On the other side of the coin, Jeff from Toronto, Canada said, "I don't come to Drag Racing Underground to read Doc lady's highfalutin restaurant reviews. I don't need no woman telling me where to stuff my pie hole!"-- Uh, okay, Jeff. Calm down... Wednesday's 31st chapter of our TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Amelia from all the way in Mugla, Turkey said, "I am so happy to read that Maria Conrad is finally going to have the chance to go on a drag strip adventure!"-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, this time saying, "It's so cool that the crew is taking out their 1950 Ford Deluxe Woody Station Wagon for Fred's birthday! With four blown engines they're going to have fun!"-- Michael from Thousand Oaks, CA said, "The Phantom Racer gang's souped up station wagon reminds me of the old Wagon Masters four engined Buick Riviera of Tom McCourry!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog promoting tomorrow's MOPARS @ E'TOWN race and Sunday's DIGS @ E'TOWN event prompted lots of emails. Ted from Sea Bright, NJ said, "I'm going to bring my Dart out to the Mopar day. I wouldn't miss it for the world!"-- Randy from Clark, NJ wrote, "I'm planning on attending THE DIGS, especially since unmuffled cars will be racing on Sunday."... My assistant Stephanie's blog featuring a pic of yours truly, that was photo-shopped by DragLists' John Bockelman resulted in Jill from Cannonville, UT writing, "The photo of Doc sitting on her T-Bird is so cute. Thanks to Stephanie for letting us Doc fans have the opportunity to see it!"... My blog stressing drag strip safety and etiquette caused Eric from Leesburg, FL to email, "Your blog is probably going to save some racers' lives. All your tips are extremely smart."... Our special "2014 OFFICIALLY DECLARED THE YEAR TO TAKE A DATE TO THE DRAGS" blog stirred Angie from Palo Alto, CA to write, "Where do you come up with these great ideas? You are geniuses!"-- All the credit goes to Drag Racing Underground's resident motorsports relationship expert Ms. Emma, Angie. She's the real brains behind our popular, critically acclaimed cyber campaign... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.

Illustration courtesy of Drag Racing Underground's own John Gill. Copyright 2014.


I HIGHLY RECOMMEND ANTON'S AT THE SWAN FOR FINE DINING...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

I'm often inundated with requests from my readers asking me what other sort of places I enjoy frequenting, besides drag strips, in order to unwind and spend my precious leisure time (what little of it I seem to have of late)... Well, today I'm sharing a tip with you regarding a restaurant that's my top preference for fine dining in New Jersey. It's ANTON'S AT THE SWAN, 43 South Main Street, Lambertville, NJ... Chef and owner Chris Connors is the absolute best when it comes to creating innovative American cuisine. One of my fave dishes is the grilled swordfish with chilled yam salad...  I must testify that it's nothing short of phenomenal-- Just like everything else that's served at the Swan, it's seasonal culinary perfection. Dinner at the Swan always proves to be a flawless and memorable experience. Wine aficionados will be wowed and won over by the extensive and impressive wine list. The exterior and interior of the restaurant is historic, quaint and a pleasure for your eyes, just as this refined eating establishment is a pure pleasure for your palate. Rich woods, eloquent oil paintings and antiques are abound. Excellent ambiance and atmosphere provide a warm 'n' cozy feeling that makes you feel completely at ease, as if you're a welcome guest at a best friend's home. It's artful dining personified. The service and attention you're given is also amazingly warm and genuine. I highly recommend making plans to dine at ANTON'S AT THE SWAN for the Spring and Summer seasons... Dinner usually cost in the $30-$50 range. I strongly advise that you make reservations. ANTON'S AT THE SWAN receives my highest possible rating of "5 Doc Stars". For more information please visit www.antons-at-the-swan.com



Your table is ready... ANTON'S AT THE SWAN earns my highest possible restaurant rating of "5 DOC STARS".

Dinner at The Swan proves to be a flawless and memorable experience. I highly recommend it.


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were enjoying a birthday party for Fred The Wrench. All were joyful because Larry Lamb heroically returned Fred back from a demented dimension that "Bugsy" Bullheimer, the bad gangster bookie, metaphysically kidnapped our team's trusty mechanic into. Fred made a wish and blew out the candles on his birthday cake, although nobody knows what Fred wished for. Honorable leader Larry Lamb agreed that the crew could spend the day time-traveling to drag strip swap meets, seeking CARtoons comic books and other drag racing 'zines for Fred to shop for and purchase as birthday presents. Fred was beginning to party pretty hearty and began to get a bit tipsy. He even started getting a little loose with his language, but Larry reminded him to mind his manners, even if it IS his birthday... Fred also made a bold request that he wanted to bring one of the show cars from the heavenly garage on their drag strip swap meet birthday travels. Larry generously agreed to Fred's birthday request. Sebastian aka THE PHANTOM RACER, Maria Conrad, and Peter The Parrot are all extremely curious as to which car Fred wants so badly to bring out for the day... Fred whispered the identity of his requested car in Larry's ear, and even Larry was somewhat taken aback by Fred's choice of hot rod...

 

"Alright, alright, listen up, everybody," says Larry as he raises his voice to get the undivided attention of everyone in the group, "Our dear Fred has requested that we take out our extremely rare 1950 Ford Custom Deluxe Woody Station Wagon for today's gala drag strip swap meet birthday shopping spree."... "WHAT?!?," squawks a genuinely surprised Peter The Parrot, "I saw that wicked wagon when I first came aboard and Fred gave me a tour of the different storage garages. THAT SURE IS ONE MEAN, WILD, WOOLY, WICKED MACHINE!!!"... "That's right, my birdbrain buddy," interjects a slightly sozzled Fred The Wrench as he stumbles a bit  while trying to do an old Charleston dance move, "It's got four big blown hemi engines, all wheel drive, and it's been stretched out so we can all fit in it for our trip!!"... "I guess we're going to be getting a lot of attention showing up at drag strip swap meets with that kind of ride!!" exclaims Sebastian... "Oh, yes," concurs leader Larry Lamb, "I assure you, that wagon draws plenty of attention whenever we take it out, which incidentally isn't that often at all. The wagon only gets taken out for special occasions, like today's birthday celebration for our Fred."... "Hey," interjects Maria, "Am I going to be coming along on this birthday binge of an adventure?? Am I finally going to get the chance to get out of this office and join you guys for this terrestrial trip through the parallel universes?!?"... "YES," replies Larry Lamb, "You are certainly welcome to come with us, Maria. I believe you've done quite a lot of filing and office work 'round here. I think you are well deserving to experience your very first outing among the metaphysical drag racing world."... "I'M SO EXCITED," blurts out a now bubbly Maria, "I'm going to make a quick visit to the wardrobe department and find myself something special to wear!!"... Maria leaves the room and enthusiastically takes the elevator up to the wardrobe department to get into some fresh threads...

 

"While Maria's upstairs picking out her outfit for the trip," says Larry Lamb, "You boys can go fetch that beastly blown wagon from the garage and bring it here. We'll all dematerialize from this room with the car and then materialize at a big drag strip swap meet in Muskogee, Oklahoma. I believe there's usually a lot of drag magazine vendors at this particular event. I'm sure we'll be able to find Fred some neat drag 'zines for his birthday there."... "COOL," shouts out a festive Fred The Wrench, "I've been wanting to take the wagon out for a long time!!"... Fred, Sebastian, and Peter leave to fetch the wagon... It sure appears as if Larry Lamb is determined to provide his team's invaluable mechanic with an ultra fun-filled birthday... Suddenly the elevator door opens... Out steps Maria from the elevator wearing a glittering halter top and tailored shorts!!... "OH MY," says an astonished Larry Lamb, "That is quite the stunning outfit, Maria!! I'm surprised that the wardrobe department had something so, uh,  RACY!! Pun intended."... "Isn't it adorable?!?" says a glowing (literally and figuratively) Maria Conrad... "Why, yes," says Larry, "I'd say it's adorable indeed, and you look absolutely lovely in it!!"... And then, a loud, earsplitting WHOMP, WHOMP, WHOMP, WHOMP is heard... Fred, Sebastian, and Larry pull in with the big, black, sassy, streeetched-out, four-engined, blown, woody Ford station wagon!!... "WOW," Maria says when she first lays eyes on the hybrid hot rod they're taking out for Fred The Wrench's birthday bash, "THAT IS THE CRAAAAZIEST WOODY STATION WAGON THAT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND AFTERLIFE!!!"... Peter The Parrot takes a glance at Maria from the backseat of the loud and raucous wagon, and gives an admiring whistle as he observes her ravishing radiance... Sebastian briskly steps out of the front passenger side door, and his jaw drops as a result of his sweetheart Maria's beaming beauty... Fred remains in the driver's seat, aggressively stabbing the accelerator pedal and making lots of noise with the wagon's four blown hemi engines... Larry Lamb then shouts at the top of his lungs with authority in his voice, "GET THE HECK OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT, FRED!! YOU'RE DRUNK!! I'll BE THE DESIGNATED DRIVER FOR TODAY'S ADVENTURES!!"... Peter The Parrot chuckles and flies into the back seat. Sebastian and Maria walk arm in arm to the back seat of the wagon as well. Larry Lamb butts his head on Fred The Wrench, nudging him over to the passenger side seat as he climbs into the driver's seat... "LET'S ROLL, BABY!! TODAY IS GOING TO BE MY BEST DARN BIRTHDAY EVER!!!" shouts Fred The Wrench with elated and inebriated exuberance... Our gang are all now seated in the wicked wagon, and metaphysically dematerializing to their first time-traveling drag strip swap meet destination... One can only wonder what sort of adventure awaits our paranormal dream team on this day dedicated to Fred The Wrench's birthday fun and frolic?!?...

 

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... And yes, we are all curious as to what sort of adventures are in store for our paranormal dream team on this day dedicated to Fred The Wrench's birthday fun and frolic?!?... They certainly have one wicked woody wagon to serve as transportation!!... A four-engined blown station wagon will sure get you lots of attention at a drag strip swap meet!!... But will all that attention they receive be beneficial??... Hmmm... Who knows?!?... Will Fred find the kind of drag racing 'zines at the swap meets that will satisfy his birthday driven desires?!?... Will Fred be able to curtail his birthday partying enough to stay out of trouble?!?... And what was Fred's birthday wish when he blew out the candles?!?-- Will we find out?!?... And how will team newbie Maria Conrad adjust to finally being out in the field and among the paranormal drag racing related population?!?... What's going to happen next??... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stayed tuned next Wednesday for the next chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday).  TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2014 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


"MOPARS @ E'TOWN" AND "THE DIGS @ E'TOWN" THIS WEEKEND!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

THIS weekend there's plenty of reason to come out to Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. Saturday, August 23, is the mammoth MOPARS @ E'TOWN event. All you hardcore  "Mopar Or No Car" enthusiasts do not want to miss this event. There's going to be plenty of old school and new school Mopars on the premises. You'll see lots of great drag racing (muffled) and plenty of show car oriented activity too. Gates open 8am. Time Trials begin 10am... Then on Sunday, August 24, it's THE DIGS AT E'TOWN. As you are probably already well aware, THE DIGS is the coolest and smoothest old school and traditional drag racing series in the world. It all takes place at Raceway's 1/8 mile strip. Keep in mind that there will be a special Classic Mopar class for all Mopars 1979 and older. So if you are racing the MOPARS AT E'TOWN event the day before (on Sat), please consider coming back to E'Town on Sunday to take part in a special CLASSIC MOPAR 1/8 MILE STREET TIRE & SLICK TIRE CHAMPIONSHIP. That's right, there's going to be a street tire class and slick tire class. Just 12 bucks to get into the DIGS AT E'TOWN and that includes a tech card to race your car! Of course the other usual classes will also be appearing, other brands of muscle cars '79 and older, Hot Rods, Rat Rods, Street Freaks, Straight Axles, Gassers, Vintage Race Cars of all sorts of interesting varieties... Sunday is a "noise" day, so both muffled AND unmuffled cars are welcome to stampede THE DIGS drag strip. Gates open 9am. Use gate 4 to enter (the airport gate).




In today's blog I tell you how you can satisfy your desire to see some classic Mopars, as well as some other brands of classic drag strip machinery at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. Make plans right now to get out to the drags THIS WEEKEND!!...

Saturday is MOPARS @ E'TOWN and Sunday is THE DIGS @ E'TOWN!! Two great events in one action packed weekend!!

SUBSTITUTE STEPHANIE'S SNAPSHOT OF THE DAY...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is occupied with her Big Stick related recording responsibilities. We believe Doc will hopefully be back on the clock for tomorrow's edition of the blog. Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment is one of my fave photos of my boss as she's seen gracefully seated on top of her sleek 300+ horsepower modified Thunderbird convertible, holding one of her honorable journalism awards, situated on the starting line of a drag strip, with a UFO hovering high above in the upper right corner. This particular image has been photo-shopped by John Bockelman (you may know John from his association with DragList.com and that great web site's internet radio show titled RACIN' AND ROCKIN', where he serves as the program's music director). You can see Diana "The Doc" Thomas, known as the sport's leading "Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary" on Drag Racing Underground's complete catalog of exciting drag racing dvd releases. You can check them all out by simply clicking of the "Video Catalog" link conveniently located at the top center of this page. 

 

Nobody else is quite as dedicated to covering the drag racing scene and offering up bright insight like Drag Racing Underground's own Diana "The Doc" Thomas. No brag, just fact. Her award winning coverage speaks for itself. She's a great journalist and one of the most incredibly nicest of people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I'm so grateful for her giving me the opportunity to fill in for her here on this popular blog page in her absence. She's a terrific boss and friend to me.

Photo-Shop rendering by John Bockelman of DragList.com. Copyright Drag Racing Underground.


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