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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team coaxed the evil shadow spirit, who was hiding from sight and making maniacal mischief at their racing operations compound, to finally expose himself in clear view... "I sure didn't appreciate you writing on my face and spray painting obscenities all over our vintage Funny Cars while we was all sleeping last night!!!" said Fred The Wrench to the eerie aberration named Gothromondo... "THOSE WERE SIMPLE PRANKS, YOU CHUMP!!!" shouted back Gothromondo, "WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT MORE I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU DORKY DO-GOODERS!!!"... After hearing that blatant threat, Maria put herself into a trance, and then, in a desperate attempt to repel the monster, broke into an aggressive celestial chant, "GOTHROMONDO, I COMMAND YOU TO BE GONE FROM OUR HOME, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM OUR HOT RODS OF FIBERGLASS AND CHROME!!!... All watched as Maria's chant resulted in Gothromondo experiencing violent convulsions, while a fierce funnel cloud of extreme turbulence rotated around him!!... Gothromondo metaphysically morphed from being a blurry dark shadow figure, to taking on a more solid appearance, like a spirit life form made of fiberglass and chrome!!... "It looks as though Maria's chant has drastically affected Gothromondo's molecular structure!!" said Sebastian, "Instead of him being gone from us and our hot rods made of fiberglass and chrome, he's turned into a spirit form that's made of fiberglass and chrome!!!"... "I hate when celestial chants go wrong." interjected leader Larry Lamb... Gothromondo was flailing his newly chrome-plated appendages about in a sinister manner, while grotesquely gurgling and drooling from his newfangled fiberglass-fanged mouth!!...

 

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, as he courageously flies directly into the fierce funnel cloud that's rotating around Gothromondo.... Then, with centrifugal force, Peter spins wildly around Gothromondo, frantically flying in the circulating current of the funnel cloud surrounding the beast!!..."PETER'S  INCREASING IN SIZE AND MASS!!! HE'S A BIG BIRD NOW!!!" says Maria... "Peter's strength is increasing as well!!" adds Larry Lamb... Peter then flies on top of Gothromodo's head and lodges his enlarged beak over the monster's fiberglass face, proceeding to pick the beast up with his enlarged beak and fly out of the compound's garage door, accelerating up to the speed of sound, creating a sonic boom that rattles a hundred mile radius!!.. "PETER HAS DEFINITELY STOLEN THE SHOW THIS TIME!!!" exclaims Sebastian... Several minutes later, Peter returns, flying back through the garage door, back at his normal size, and winded from his heroic feat... " I FLEW GOTHROMONDO OFF TO THE HIGH-SECURITY HEAVENLY DETENTION CENTER ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE ASTRAL PLANE CONGRUENT TO PLUTO!!!" shouts a triumphant Peter The Parrot... "I commend you, Peter!!" spouts an impressed Larry Lamb, "You were able to rise to the occasion and rid us of that awful Gothromondo!!"... "You're our hero!!" says Maria, "I'm so proud of you, Peter, that I'm going to whip you up a batch of your favorite banana pancakes with Fruit Loops on top!!"... "GEE WILLIKERS!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "EVERYONE, PLEASE BE ADVISED, THAT IF MY BLOATED BUDDY FRED, EVER SAYS THAT I DON'T PULL MY OWN WEIGHT AROUND HERE AGAIN, I'LL SOCK HIM ONE RIGHT IN HIS SCHNOZZOLA!!!!"... All the crew share a collective, boisterous laugh together, and merrily shuffle off to the kitchen for an exuberant pancake celebration... 

 

As our crew are seated at the kitchen table, anticipating Maria's banana pancakes, Larry Lamb announces in an authoritative voice, "I want all those obscene words and comments that Gothromondo spray painted on our vintage Funny Cars to be removed as soon as possible!!"... "Can we use metaphysical magic to easily remove the obscenities??" asks Sebastian... "I don't want to take the chance of using magic, because if the magic goes wrong, it could damage our classic floppers even further." replies Larry Lamb, "I want the job to be done without using any supernatural tricks."... "How about me using my new chemistry set that Fred got me for Christmas, and letting me try to create a cleaning solvent to do the job, boss??" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Well," responds Larry Lamb,"it must be a solvent that only removes the spray painted vandalism, but doesn't dissolve of affect the original paint scheme or lettering."... "I think I can swing it!" squawks back Peter The Parrot, "I have an exotic citrus based chemical solution in mind that should do the trick!!"... "Looks like my little bird buddy is on a roll." says a somewhat skeptical Fred The Wrench, "He wants to be the hero that not only got rid of Gothromondo, but also the hero to undo the damage that creep did to our old school Funny Cars."... "Oh, why not give him a chance?!?" interjects Maria as she's flipping pancakes at the stove, "What's the worst that could go wrong?!?"... "Uh, I aint's gonna answer that." says Fred with a smirk, as he pulls a bottle of concealed hooch from his sock and takes a swig... "Oh, very well, Peter." says Larry Lamb, "I'll permit you to use your new chemistry set to try to create a formula to clean those disgusting obscenities off of our classic race cars."... "Oh goodie!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "I'll get started as soon as I'm done eating my pancakes!!"... Maria cheerfully serves up the first big batch of pancakes on Peter's plate... "You really thinks you're going to be able to eat all those pancakes?!?" says Fred The Wrench to Peter as he eyes the towering pancake stack on Peter's plate... "You're darn right I am, mister!!" replies Peter The Parrot, as he starts chomping a heaping fork's worth of banana pancakes with his blabbering beak, "Because I'm going to need lots and lots of calories and energy to successfully formulate a cleaning solvent to get this job done!!!"...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Will Peter The Parrot really be capable of creating a cleaning solvent with his new chemistry set, one that will remove the obscenities that Gothromondo spray painted on the crew's classic Funny Cars, while not dissolving or destroying the race cars original paint schemes?? Peter is somewhat of a novice chemist, an amateur of the science, so is he really up to the tricky task?? We all know that Peter came through with flying colors as a celebrated hero in eradicating Gothromondo from their heavenly racing compound, but can Peter also successfully eradicate the foul language that Gothromondo spray painted on their precious race cars?? Will we be witnessing success or disaster in this critical race car cosmetic challenge??... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2016 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


TWO BOTTOMS-UP DUCKS IN THE LAKE TALKIN' 'BOUT DRAG RACING!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

 

We cordially welcome you to Drag Racing Underground's TWO BOTTOMS-UP DUCKS IN THE LAKE TALKIN' 'BOUT DRAG RACING!  This feature provides our readers with drag racing conversation "conDUCKted" in the tradition of wholesome 1950s era family oriented entertainment. These two adorable ducks from the world famous Farrington Lake in New Jersey, tend to occasionally make a lot more sense than some of the so-called drag racing "experts" you see elsewhere on the internet. However, sometimes they make very little sense at all... Without further ado, we proudly present to you TWO BOTTOMS-UP DUCKS IN THE LAKE TALKIN' 'BOUT DRAG RACING...

 

Duck #1:  I'm so happy that we've finally made the big time! We're the newest addition to the Drag Racing Underground team of world-class journalists and commentators!!

 

Duck #2:  Yep!! The great folks at Drag Racing Underground promised us a can of kernel corn for each installment of ours they publish!!  You can't beat that! We're going to provide all you landlubbers with refreshing drag racing talk straight from the lake!!

 

Duck #1:  I'm told that former NHRA TV personality Mike Dunn might become the new president of the IHRA!!

 

Duck #2:  Is that just another one of those internet rumors or the real truth??

 

Duck #1:  Who cares whether or not it's the truth?? At least it's something to talk about.

 

Duck # 2:  I've always liked Mike Dunn. I wish him success at whatever he chooses to do with his life.

 

Duck #1:  Me too. If Mike becomes the president of the IHRA, or the local chapter of the Mickey Mouse fan club, I wish him the very best in his future endeavors.

 

Duck #2.  Did you hear that Austin Coil might be going back to work for John Force's racing operation??


Duck #1:  You mean Coil's coming out of retirement to start tuning at the Force camp again?!?

Duck #2:  That's the newest rumor circulating here around the lake.

Duck #1:  If that's the truth, then you know what John Force better do??

Duck #2:  No, I don't know... What should John Force "better do" if it's true??

Duck #1:  Well, if it's true, John Force better stock up the transporter with a fresh new inventory of toothpicks for Austin Coil, 'cause we all know that Coil needs an awful lot of toothpicks!!!

Duck# 2:  QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!!! (that's laughter in duck language.)


Two Bottoms-Up Ducks in the Lake Talkin' 'Bout Drag Racing is the sole property of Drag Racing Underground. Copyright 2016

I've recently received encouraging news for Nostalgia Funny Car fans from the team of Rocky Pirrone & Al Liebmann. They're going to once again be storming the strips this 2016 season with the "Frantic Ford" and "Super Camaro" tribute cars. The "Frantic Ford" is a nifty 1969 Ford Mach 1 nitro flopper paying homage to the historic "Frantic Ford" legacy, and Paul Roger "Dodger" Glenn, Ron Rivero and Jim Fox. The "Super Camaro" is a 1970 Chevy model paying tribute to the legacy of the late great owner/driver Perry Wyatt and his Detroit regional dominance. I've been informed that a new chassis and engine upgrade has happened for the "Super Camaro". Both cars sport period correct appearing bodies and enough power between the frame rails to cause a ruckus. Team veteran Bobby Toth is spearheading the disassembly of each car and the inspection and evaluation of every piece of equipment. New additions to the team this year include the talented Jim H Gifford and Joe Morrison. Both gents come with a wealth of knowledge, along with being accomplished drivers. Now having four licensed nitro pilots on the team is like having four All Pro Quarterbacks calling plays in a hot rodding huddle. New sponsors coming aboard include POR15, Hedman Headers, Mahle & Snap On/Sam Piro. The two fabulous Funny Cars will be fiercely frumping their way through tracks in the Northeast and Midwest. If they come to a strip near you, I strongly recommend that you get out from behind your computer and go see 'em. I've seen these cars perform and firmly believe them to be among the best of the old school flopper circuit. Team honcho and longtime friend Rocky Pirrone tells me that the 2016 racing season is going to be nothing short of awesome with his trusty crew and supportive sponsors. This classic pairing of match racing Funny Cars packs a potent punch that you certainly don't want to miss!! Go see the "Frantic Ford" and "Super Camaro" spectacularly strut their stuff!!



The "Frantic Ford" & "Super Camaro" classic floppers return to Northeast and Midwest drag strips this season!

SOMETHING FOR DRAG FANS TO CONSIDER THIS SUPER BOWL SUNDAY...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today is the day when NFL sanctioned football rules our culture. Let's not even attempt to minimize the impact that the big once-a-year gridiron game has on our mainstream population. The Super Bowl is HUGE. And I admit that I'll be watching. And I'll also go as far to predict that Cam Newton (the quarterback with a smiling grill much like that of a chromed 1954 Cadillac grill) and his Carolina Panthers will defeat a borderline geriatric Peyton Manning and his Denver Broncos by no less than 10 points... That said, I want to suggest that all you drag racing folks who read this blog, and will be either hosting or attending a Super Bowl party today, that you please try to do something to help promote our sport, the sport where nobody throws a ball, and none of the participants make upwards of $100 million dollars a year in salaries and endorsements (like many NFL players do). I ask that on this Super Bowl Sunday, that you put in a good word about drag racing to your friends and/or relatives at the party, those who've never been to a drag race, or even watched one on TV. How 'bout starting a casual conversation about drag racing as you're passing around the potato chip dip? How 'bout offering to take your non-drag racing fan friends to a drag race this year as your treat? How 'bout telling your non-drag racing fan friends that drag racing can provide them with just as much of an "adrenaline rush" as football? How 'bout slipping in a Drag Racing Underground dvd during halftime, and showing your non-drag racing fan friends that going to the drags can be an exciting experience? How 'bout  telling your non-drag racing fan friends that former NFL star quarterback Dan Pastorini once drove a Top Fuel dragster?... Yes, I could go on and on, but I think you've most likely gotten my point by now... I hope all of us can "recruit" at least one person on this day when football rules the earth, at least one individual who has never even given drag racing a fleeting thought, to hopefully consider taking a brief look at our accelerating sport. Sure, for many people the Super Bowl is a blast, but some of us also appreciate a sport where the cars go straight and fast...

 

 


WATCH NHRA WINTERNATS NEXT WEEKEND ON FOX SPORTS 1 NETWORK...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

I realize that this is the weekend when a majority of Americans are far more obsessed with the Super Bowl than any form of motorsports. I get that. However, I'm also aware that a heck of a lot of the folks who read this blog are pretty darn obsessed with drag racing. So therefore, I want to remind you that coverage of the 56th annual Circle K NHRA Winternationals from Pomona, California, kicks off next weekend (February 12th) at 10:30pm ET on the Fox Sports 1 cable network. Will 2015 champ Del Worsham get a strong start in the Funny Car class? Will 2015 champ Antron Brown continue dominating the Nitro Digger field? Will 2015 champ Erica Enders prove once again that when it comes to experiencing ultimate success in Pro Stock, it's a woman's world? Will 2015 champ Andrew Hines once again topple the two-wheeled Pro Stocker class? Be sure to tune in to NHRA racing on FS1 next weekend and find out!!... I'm genuinely excited about the NHRA's big move to FOX this year...

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog promoting the upcoming MARCH MEET and informing readers about Peter Kaiser's move to the Circuit Breaker Top Fuel team resulted in Michael from Downey, CA writing, "Thanks to Doc for pushing the March Meet. After the fire they sure appreciate her. I'll bet my money that Pete Kaiser makes it to the final round."... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Monserrat from all the way in Golfito, Costa Rica said, "Peter The Parrot is a cute bird with courage."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "I cracked up when Peter said he'd sock Fred The Wrench in the schnozzola!!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog announcing the old school & traditional DIGS AT E'TOWN 2016 drag racing series schedule, caused Edward from Irvington, NJ to say, "Ida Automotive coming back with their Gasser Showdown is enough to get me going to The Digs this season! I also go because Doc lets me take my picture with her."... My blog announcing E'Town's NHRA chassis certification set for March 19th prompted Aaron from Wilton, CT to write, "Thanks for giving us the chassis certification date. I'll be calling Raceway Park to reserve a spot for me and my buddy's new outlaw Mustang."... My blog titled BLOWHARD BIG BABY BIKERS NEED TO GROW UP AND STOP THEIR IMBECILIC BEHAVIOR THAT'S TARNISHING LEGIT MOTORCYCLE CULTURE caused quite a firestorm of emails. Wally aka Wombat from Brooklyn, NY wrote, "I've been telling Doc since she first shot pics of my Harley hog ten years ago, that the stupid fools who think you have to be a jerk to ride a bike have it ass backwards."-- On the other side of the opinion fence,  Jimmy from Dahlonega, GA said, "If Doc really thinks her scolding gangster bikers with IQs less than their shoe size is going to change their attitudes, she's got another thing coming. You can't fix stupid. It's impossible."... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


I want to remind my readers that the Good Vibrations Motorsports MARCH MEET isn't that far off on the calendar. It takes place March 3-6, 2016 at the historic Auto Club Famoso Raceway located in Bakersfield, California. If you haven't made plans to attend yet, please don't procrastinate any longer. Make plans to "be there". Despite the recent unfortunate fire that happened at the track, management has worked diligently to get the facility up and operating for racing. Nostalgia scene aficionados believe the MARCH MEET is a slice of heaven on earth. There's going to be Nitro, A/Fuel and Junior Fuel Dragsters, the fabulous Funny Cars, hairy Fuel Altereds, wild 'n' woolly Gassers, and all kinds of vintage themed drag cars storming the Famoso strip. One interesting tidbit of information I recently received from a reliable source, is that the K.M.A. "Circuit Breaker" Nostalgia Top Fuel digger will be back for this year's running of the event, with a new driver/crew chief on the team. He's a 2nd generation nitro racer, he's been in the nostalgia scene since the 90s, he drove and tuned John Eirich's "Ground Zero" Top Fueler to a runner up finish at the 2008 CHRR, then tuned the "Raisin Express 3" car to a 2015 CHRR final round-- I'm talkin' 'bout none other than Peter Kaiser-- That's right, Peter Kaiser will be in the cockpit of the "Circuit Breaker" at the upcoming MARCH MEET. I predict that Kaiser and the K.M.A. team will be a formidable threat at Bakersfield... And I predict that the MARCH MEET will be fun for everyone!!

 

 

One good reason to be at the MARCH MEET is to see Peter Kaiser drive the K.M.A. "Circuit Breaker" Top Fueler!


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team coaxed the evil shadow spirit, who was hiding from sight and making maniacal mischief at their heavenly racing operations compound, to finally show himself in clear view... "COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!" squawked Peter The Parrot to the hidden beast, "LET'S PUT AN END TO THIS GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK, YOU CREEP!!!"... A mysterious mist then materialized, taking the visible form of a tall, imposing, dark shadow aberration, wearing an old school drag racing respirator mask, and cloaked in a severely tattered and charred firesuit... "AS YOU WISH!!!" the shadow figure robustly replied to Peter The Parrot, "YES, YOU BIRDBRAIN!!! LET US END THIS GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK, AND GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!!!!"... Sebastian did his best to conceal any signs of fear, and inquired, "Who are you?!?... "I AM THE GHASTLY SPIRIT KNOWN AS GOTHROMONDO!!!" responded the ghoul in a gurgling tone, "I'M THE DEMENTED DRAG RACING SPIRIT FROM THE DARK DASTARDLY DIMENSION OF DEMENTED DERANGEMENT!!!!"... "That's certainly a mouthful." said leader Larry Lamb while trying his best to remain calm and composed, "And what else can you tell us about yourself, Gothromondo?"... The corrosive creature replied "I EXCEL IN MANY BRANCHES OF KNOWLEDGE. I'M SKILLED IN PHYSICS, THEOLOGY, AND CHASSIS ENGINEERING!!!  AND AS I'VE ALREADY HEARD YOU SAYING, YOU WOOLLY WUSS OF A LAMB LOOKING MAN,  I'M INDEED A MASTER OF THE EXTREME BLACK ARTS AND EVILDOING!!!"...

 

"I sure didn't appreciate you writing on my face and vandalizing our vintage Funny Cars while we was all sleeping last night!!!" says Fred The Wrench as he pulls a bottle of hooch out of his sock and takes a nervous drink... "THOSE WERE SIMPLE PRANKS, YOU DRUNKEN CHUMP!!!" shouts Gothromondo, "WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT MORE I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU DORKY DO-GOODERS!!!"... With hearing that terrifying threat, Maria immediately puts herself into a deep mystical trance, and then, in a desperate attempt to repel the creepy monster, breaks into an aggressive celestial chant, "GOTHROMONDO, I COMMAND YOU TO BE GONE FROM OUR HOME, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM OUR HOT RODS OF FIBERGLASS AND CHROME!!!-- GOTHROMONDO, I COMMAND YOU TO BE GONE FROM OUR HOME, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM OUR HOT RODS OF FIBERGLASS AND CHROME!!!!"... Our crew watches as Maria's chant results in the beast experiencing violent convulsions, while a fierce funnel cloud of extreme turbulence rotates around him at wicked warp speed!!... Gothromondo metaphysically morphs from being a blurry dark shadow figure, to taking on a more solid appearance, like a spirit life form made of fiberglass and chrome!!... "It looks as though Maria's chant has drastically affected Gothromondo's molecular structure!!" says Sebastian, "Instead of him being gone from us and our hot rods made of fiberglass and chrome, he's turned into a spirit form that's made of fiberglass and chrome!!!"...  "I hate when that happens." interjects Larry Lamb, "Maria's usually on her game when it comes to creating chants to defeat the forces of evil, however, it's obvious that this Gothromondo character isn't going to be that easily eradicated with just one simple celestial chant.".... Gothromondo's now flailing his newly chrome-plated appendages about in a sinister manner, while grotesquely gurgling and drooling from his ferociously-fanged fiberglass mouth!!...

 

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NEFARIOUS NONSENSE!!!" squawks an anxious Peter The Parrot, as he courageously flies directly into the fierce funnel cloud that's raucously rotating around Gothromondo... "WHAT'S PETER DOING?!?"  Maria shouts with panic... "Uh, I thinks I know whats he's doin'" says Fred The Wrench, "I thinks we're gonna see Peter show us something that parrots of the drag racing afterlife can only do when they gets really, really, really mad!!!"... "I believe Fred is correct." concurs Larry Lamb as a confident smirk comes over his woolly face... Then, with centrifugal force, Peter The Parrot starts spinning wildly around Gothromondo, frantically flying in the circulating current of the funnel cloud surrounding him!!... "LOOK!!!" says Maria, "PETER IS INCREASING IN SIZE AND MASS!!! HE'S A BIG BIRD NOW!!!"... "Peter's strength is increasing as well!!" adds Larry Lamb, "Peter's now stronger than Gothromondo!!!"... Peter The Parrot then flies on top of Gothromodo's head and lodges his enlarged beak over the monster's fiberglass face. Peter then proceeds to pick the beast up with his enlarged beak and fly out of the compound's main garage door, eventually accelerating up to the speed of sound, creating a sonic boom that rocks and rattles a hundred mile radius!!... "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!" exclaims Sebastian, "PETER HAS DEFINITELY STOLEN THE SHOW THIS TIME!!!"... Several minutes later, Peter The Parrot returns, flying back through the garage door, back at his normal size, and sort of winded, huffing and puffing from his heroic feat of strength, endurance and courage... "Where did you fly Gothromondo off to?!?" asks Maria... Peter The Parrot takes another few seconds to catch his breath and loudly replies, "TO THE HIGH-SECURITY HEAVENLY DETENTION CENTER, THE ONE OVER ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE ASTRAL PLANE CONGRUENT TO PLANET PLUTO!!!"... "I must commend you, Peter!!" spouts an impressed Larry Lamb, "You have proven far beyond the call of duty, that you were able to rise to the occasion and rid us of that awful Gothromondo!!"... "You're our hero!!" says Maria, "I'm so proud of you, Peter, that I'm going to whip you up a batch of your favorite banana pancakes with Fruit Loops on top!!"... "GEE WILLIKERS!!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "NOW EVERYONE, PLEASE BE ADVISED, THAT IF MY BLOATED BUDDY FRED, EVER, AND I DO MEAN EVER, SAYS THAT I DON'T PULL MY OWN WEIGHT AROUND HERE AGAIN, I'LL SOCK HIM ONE RIGHT SQUARE CENTER IN HIS BIG BULBOUS SCHNOZZOLA!!!!"... All the crew share a collective, boisterous laugh together and merrily shuffle off to the kitchen for an exuberant pancake celebration... 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... The evil shadow aberration from the darkside was finally overcome by what many would believe to be the crew's least likely hero. Yes, it was none other than Peter The Parrot, who metaphysically grew in size and strength, picked up Gothromondo with his enlarged beak, and flew him away to a maximum security heavenly detention center located on the dark side of the astral plane congruent to the planet Pluto!! Our gang are now cheerfully shuffling into the kitchen, where they're going to celebrate Gothromondo being gone, with Maria whipping up a batch of Peter's favorite banana pancakes with Fruit Loops on top. All is well for now, but for how long???... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2016 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


I'm glad to report that the 2016 schedule for Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's "DIGS AT E'TOWN" racing series has been officially announced. For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's nostalgia and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" or as "stuffy" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. This season will feature the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT (I love the Gassers!!). There's groovy tunes and an eclectic, easy-going social environment. Special thanks to sponsors like Blacey's U-Pick Auto Parts and Auto Sales of Wrightstown, NJ, Vintage Variety Shop of Atlantic Highlands, NJ, and Pep Boys Speed Shop. The dates are Sunday May 15 for the Spring Warm Up, Sunday August 28 for Hot Fun Sunday, and Sunday October 30 for the Monster Bash event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. And I hope that I'll be seeing you there for this exciting 2016 season!! For more info visit www.racewaypark.com

 

 


I'd like to give a helpful heads-up to all my many racer and race car fabrication friends who regularly read this blog. Please be aware that at 9am on Saturday morning, March 19th 2016, the fine folks from NHRA's Northeast Division will be hosting their official NHRA chassis certification at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park, located at 230 Pension Road in Englishtown, New Jersey. It's highly recommended that you call/contact the track in advance to reserve yourself a spot. Be smart and mark it on your calendar now, and please pass the word around to any of your racing friends and associates who need a chassis certified for NHRA competition. For more information please visit www.racewaypark.com

 

 


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